Pregnancy Update: 23 Weeks

Baby Size:  Pomegranate, 12 inches

How Far Along: 23 Weeks

Total Weight Gain: 15 pounds. 2 pounds this week. Exciting! My belly looks pregnant all the time now. I am not noticing much gain anywhere else really (thankfully), and I am happy to see a gain this week. After two weeks of no gain and weight loss, my grandmother was about to come force feed me to make sure I continued to gain! I ordered tiramisu last night to make sure the scale showed something.

Sleep: Sleeping just fine. I use a little throw pillow for my belly, but otherwise, I am sleeping normally.

Food Cravings: No real cravings. I love my water freezing cold. If it gets less than freezing, it's just not appetizing.

Food Aversions: Nothing really. Everything sounds pretty good.

Symptoms:
Belly button - it looks weird! It's not an outie, but it's not really an innie anymore. It's almost flush with my stomach. It's totally bizarre.

Difficulty getting up from the couch - Bryan has to pull me up or push me up to get me off the couch. I just get stuck. My belly is getting larger and I'm feeling the difference.

DVRing a Baby Story - I just started yesterday. I watched an episode and was doing fine until the birthing part. I was so scared, and then when the baby came out and was placed on the mom, I lost it. I just started bawling. I couldn't explain why, but it was crazy and unstoppable. I might need to remove that from our list of recordings.

Doctor's Appointment: April 17

Movement: Baby is moving often, and last night, Bryan saw my stomach move! Really weird, but very cool that he's getting bigger. More and more real.

Gender: Boy! I'm researching names. I'm fairly sure that we'll wait until the hospital to name him, but I'd like to know what other B names are out there! I've got a short list of four that we like, but I am taking suggestions.

Best Moment of the Week: Saturday. The napping and the pizza and the painting and the relaxing. I just love spending the weekends with Bryan, just us. There's only a few left before the baby comes. And I love seeing the baby's room come together. The paint looks awesome, and it is surreal that we are painting our baby's room. When did this happen?

What I'm Looking Forward To: My mom arriving tomorrow morning! The whole weekend should be great: baby shower, shopping, OKC show, hanging out. I'm so excited!

What I've Bought for Baby: Bryan's mom sent me Toms which is for my pregnant feet and thereby, for the baby. Baby got cute little socks from Aunt Nancy and Uncle Russ this past weekend.

Thoughts on Grad School

Last summer, I thought I wanted to go to graduate school. What I really wanted was a change. And I got it. I accepted the position of NSU's first International Student Recruitment and Retention Specialist.

My youngest sister is set to graduate college very soon (when did that happen?), and she called me to talk about life and careers and marriage and all that jazz. She originally wanted to go to graduate school, but after thinking about it more, she didn't want to spend the time or the money doing it and she wanted someone to validate her.

VALIDATION GRANTED!

I'm a HUGE supporter of avoiding graduate school.
(Unless of course you're going to become a doctor, professor or lawyer. Then, get your ass to class!)

You see, my sister doesn't really know what she wants to do. And that's fine: she's 21 years old. At 21, I didn't know what I wanted either. I knew I wanted a paying job with free weekends to travel and party and relax and a paycheck. That's exactly what she wants. And I'll argue that this is what most young 20 year olds want after spending some years at a university.

Here's why I think graduate college isn't worth it:
1) The money. It's really expensive, and even if you get a loan (which you have to pay back) or a stipend (nicely done), you are missing out on the income you could've been earning if you were working instead.

This has worked firsthand for me: I would've had a free ride to the NSU English program in addition to earning a measley $600 a month for teaching some comp courses. Instead, I'm working full time and earning much more. I would've set my family back (no car, no baby, no vacations) if I would've chosen to go to graduate school.

2) The learning. Sure, you'll learn lots. Lots in one very specific field. But here's the thing: as long as you're a curious person, you'll learn lots anywhere: travelling the world, working a full time job, volunteering your time, providing care for a sick loved one.

Also, this has worked firsthand for me: I've learned WAY more than I did in school by working. Each position has opened my breadth of knowledge in understanding tasks, industries, office structures, politics and interacting with people. I can interview applicants, produce annual reports, negotiate international agreements, organize a library stack of books in the Library of Congress system, design marketing materials, process applications for university admissions, determine a plastic's type by look and feel and order a Chinese visa. There's no way two years in graduate school would teach me such a variety and such a depth than what I've learned in my four years of learning on the job.

The controversial Penelope Trunk says, "Other people will say they love to learn. This is not a good thing to say because it is not remarkable. At least, not among the people you need to be better than to get hired. Those star employees are learning all the time and do not take time away from work to go to grad school. Are you so stupid that you cannot learn without getting grades? Because this is what it looks like if you say you went to grad school because you love to learn."

3) The time. We aren't Peter Pans. We can't be 18 and in college forever. The thing is, we can still have fun in the real world. We can still have parties, long weekends, friends and sleeping in (can you say, vacation or personal leave?). Get out of college and into the real world! It's actually quite awesome.

Yeah, finding a job is hard work - but most good things in life are. And if you don't find a job you're in love with, find a job you can live with. And then keep looking. Cash that paycheck until you can land a job you do love. Finding a job is much easier once you already have one. And you can use job experience to answer interview questions and prove your worth instead of saying, "In one of my classes, I did a project where..." and go on to describe a contrived senario your professor assigned you.

I've also found that my career accomplishments were way more fulfilling than anything I did in college (save for the Rapscallion). And my bank account is way better with my job than when I was in college (working two jobs and studying full time). Why waste time avoiding the eventual? Get out there!

So, I told my little sister, you go. Skip that grad school. Don't feel guilty, don't look back. Apply for whatever  jobs you qualify for. Find a good company or school where there's lots of opportunities for lateral and upward mobility. Find a place that pays and that lets you have your weekends. Even better if they give you an office and benefits.

I hope that she finds something good. I know she will. She's exactly what employers are looking for: a hard-working, smart college graduate willing to do what it takes to work up the ladder of success. She graduates in December, and I'm betting by the end of February, she'll be employed.

Easter Cheese

the Buckley kids

Monday Brain Dump

It was an awesome weekend albeit too short.

Friday was spent painting the baby's room, eating takeout from our favorite (and in walking distance) Italian restaurant and painting some more. When it got dark, I saw Titanic in 3D with my girl Natasha and Bryan had a friend over to drink beers while we spent three hours gushing over Leonardo diCaprio. When I got home at 1am, I forgot that I promised to bring a casserole to our new parents, so I stayed up to make something to sit overnight.

Saturday morning, we woke to deliver brunch only to find out (sadly) that the appointment was not going well and would be taking longer. Longer turned into lunch, so we just took the brunch over to the house and hopefully they were able to enjoy it eventually. We spent the rest of the day painting a second coat of paint, picking up pizza and napping. It was a lovely Saturday.

Sunday, we woke up early to drive to Missouri to spend Easter with Bryan's uncle and aunt and kids. They served the most delicious lunch of lamb, salmon, and many delicious sides and desserts. It was actually really nice to spend the day with family.

My coworker is leaving at the end of summer for graduate school, and we are hiring a new person. I'm anxious about this because the new person must be someone who can handle the demands of the position in addition to the demands of our boss. It's a tough job, and what will make it even harder is my maternity leave in August. So that person needs to be good and very available to not take vacation during the fall. I'm nervous about this, and I think my coworker is a little sad to be leaving. She is acting a little stranger than normal, but she is probably stressing about the changes happening in her life.

My mom comes to town this week! I'm excited! I can't tell if I should clean so she will come home to a clean house and be impressed or if I should leave it all a mess and let her clean up after me...I'll take her to my favorite places for lunch, and on Friday, we'll have a baby shower (I hope...the friend hosting hasn't really sent out invitations yet, so I'm worried about it). Saturday, we'll go shopping in Tulsa and then drive to OKC for Bryan and I's duo show! It will be her first show of ours that she's seen since college which is pretty awesome.

Life is moving at a very fast pace, but I like it. I'm ready for summer! Get here!

Pregnancy Update: 22 Weeks

Baby Size: Papaya, 11.5 inches (almost a foot!)
How Far Along: 22 Weeks

Total Weight Gain: 13 pounds. I weighed myself three times: I lost a pound between last week and this week. I don't know where because I feel larger than last week. When I lean forward, I can feel an entire belly on my thighs. It's weird. And it's weird that I lost a pound, especially after no gain last week. I wonder if this is all evening out that 4 pound gain from two weeks ago. I'm not complaining, but it is baffling that I haven't seen much gain lately.

I feel really beautiful with my pregnant belly and body. I was telling my youngest sister yesterday that this may be the first time in my life since middle school that I'm in love with my body. I am not self conscious naked or in clothes. I feel stunning and womanly and proud and truly beautiful. I love the way I look with my pregnancy.

Sleep: Sleep is still not an issue. I am using the pillow tip from Elisa to slide a pillow under my belly to prevent back pain. I sleep through the night, and I have energy through the day. I really don't feel any differently about sleep than before I was pregnant.

Food Cravings: Baked goods: cupcakes, cookies, pies, tiramisu. I am just all about warm, fresh out of the oven baked goods. I can't stop myself from baking when I have a craving. I'm into vanilla and fruit.

Food Aversions: Please don't take away my woman card, but I'm not into chocolate at all. My boss rewarded me for my recent evaluations with a big Godiva bar of chocoalte which is my favorite reward normally, but right now, chocolate isn't appetizing.

Symptoms:
Falling - I am super clumsy. It's embarassing, and I know it makes everyone super nervous to see a pregnant lady fall down. They are short falls, and I've not fallen on my belly, but it's happening more often than I would like.

Empathy - I awwww and empathize with everyone and everything. It's not really my personality to be overly empathetic, but man, these hormones make me feel like I can relate to everyone and everything.

Swollen Ankles - only sometimes. I have found the cure: TOMS! If I wear Toms shoes, no swelling. Anything else, I'm walking on fluids. My super sweet mother in law is mailing me a package of two pairs of Toms which doubles my Toms collection. I am hoping to mention it to all my lady moms in case they need another gift for the baby shower...I will gladly accept Toms (in my new pregnant foot size - 7.5).

Doctor's Appointment: April 17

Movement: I thought I felt him a lot last week, but I am continuing to feel him all the time. Mostly after eating, but I smile to myself when I feel him randomly. Often my days are so busy that I will momentarily forget that I'm pregnant and when I feel him, I think "Oh yeah, I've got a cute baby inside me!" Those are some sweet moments.

Gender: Boy! I was talking to my sister, and I think we're going to do the whole hippie dippie thing and wait until we see the baby before we name him. The two top names are so different: one is traditional and manly, the other is modern and sexy. How can I tell what will work best for him? We've got the Douglas Buckley part, we just need a first name to go with it. Also, I hear that you can avoid a lot of criticism from others if you avoid telling the name until after the baby is here because who can criticize a name when it's the name of someone so adorable?

Best Moment of the Week: Gotta be my pamper me day. That massage was incredible. If it wasn't so expensive, I would do it every week! My mother was telling me that when she was pregnant, they could barely afford the prenatal vitamins let alone a massage. I know my mom is proud of how hard I worked to get my degree and to get a good job, and I am excited for how each generation, we seem to be doing better as a nation and in my family.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Picking out the color for baby's room! We are picking the color tomorrow after work and painting on Saturday. I think it will be fun and make things more real to have a painted room to decorate!

What I've Bought for Baby: Just a sweater this week and it was on sale at Gap plus an addition 40% off, so I got it for $3. C'mon. I did buy myself a new dress (today's picture) and a pair of jeans for $20! I think I'm good on maternity clothes although I might need some maternity camis since mine do not cover my belly anymore.

Monday Mind Dump

My husband is back from Chicago where he presented his new paper (success!), and I enjoyed a lovely weekend to myself. The house is spotless, dusted, vacuumed, swept, cleaned, scrubbed, 8 loads of laundry done, dishes done, and rent paid. Booyah.

I even took time to pamper myself with an amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing 90 minute prenatal massage where I learned some sweet pillow tips (thanks, Elisa!) for sleeping and relieving pain in my back. I got my hair cut and wanted to cry because she gave me short layers even when I said PLEASE JUST CUT IT ALL THE SAME LENGTH. A little Baskin Robbins fixed my almost melt-down as did a cute baby Gap sweater for $3 (how could I not buy it?!). I was so fed up with all this that I hurried myself home to give myself a pedicure and watch back to back episodes of Chopped. An (almost) perfect day.

My good friend Julia had her baby on Thursday, and it needs its own post. They had a very crazy experience and they are handling parenthood a little differently than I thought they would and differently than I think we will. BUT, there is an adorable tiny half-Chinese, half-white baby that I get to hold. I could feel my son moving while I was holding her and I couldn't help but think about what it will be like to hold my own newborn baby. Freaking adorable.

Work is crazy because we're in the busy season, but I don't mind because my days fly by. I did my student evaluations, and for the first time in my career, my students were all over the map: one well above extraordinary (she will be my temp in my maternity leave), two at a good level, one at needing improvment and the other was almost fired and is now on probation. It really sucks to have to tell someone what they're doing wrong, but it's a learning experience for them. For most of them, this is their first job - and it's in their second language. I have the utmost respect for their attempts, and the one on probation has already impressed me today with her efforts to step it up.

Also, I baked cupcakes from scratch last night because I HAD TO HAVE THEM. They were delicious, and I brought them to work so I don't eat them all myself...and I feel guilty for being so tough on my students.

Next week, my mom comes to visit! I'm so pumped. I love my Mom.

Baby Buckley's Room

Our little baby has a room! We took the office and pulled the computer and other office-y junk into the room formerly known as my closet. Now we have a bedroom, a nursery and an office/Alyssa's closet. I haven't really organized my room, but I will be doing that this weekend while Bryan is in Chicago presenting his newest econ paper at a conference.

Do you want to see the room?

(It's not finished yet.)

It's cute!

Watch us put it together:

After all that hard work, we had a semi-finished nursery:

Super cute, right? I love the white furniture with the wood floors.

The rug is from when the room was an office, and I'm not sure if it will stay. If it doesn't, then we'll get another. I can't imagine a baby's room without a rug.

Obviously, I'm in love with blue. It's my favorite color and boy or girl, I was going to do blue. My dresser looks adorable next to the white furniture. Now we have to pick a color to paint the walls and get some art for the walls.

Bryan has come up with the awesome theme for our boy's nursery: monsters! I want to make some cute monsters for the wall, get him some Ugly Dolls (look just like monsters) and deck it out. EXCITING!!

Pregnancy Update: 21 Weeks

Baby Size: Banana, 10.5 inches
How Far Along: 21 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Still just 14 pounds! No gain this week. I was worried that I'd be gaining 4 pounds every week. Thankfully, that's not the case. I feel great, and I look definitely pregnant. My first random, "When are you due?" happened this week, and my coworker said that when I left for spring break, I didn't look pregnant, just full from lunch, but when I came back, I looked "super preggers" (I hate that word, by the way).

Sleep: I'm sleeping normally. No issues falling asleep or waking up in the middle of the night. Thank my little self.

Food Cravings: Vegetables, particularly carrots. Fruit, particularly green apples. I feel awesome indulging in these.

Food Aversions: Meat. The texture, the taste, the idea that it was an animal. Weird.

Symptoms:
SWOLLEN FEET/ANKLES - freakishly swollen. Like when I walk, I feel the fluids swishing around. They're double their size and look monsterous. I hate them. I hate the way they look and how they feel. I asked my mom if she had this issue, and she said not until she was a month away from her due date. She worried me into thinking it was preclampsia, so we rushed to Wal-Mart to check my blood pressure (116/69 - excellent). I think it's just my only "real" pregnancy symptom. I got away with no nausea and no frequent bathroom trips (oh yeah, my bladder is doing great. I did a 12 hour car drive and only peed twice!).

Doctor's Appointment: Not until mid-April.

Movement: Wow. I feel him all the time, even stronger than before. I've felt several big kicks, and during the Chicago trip, I could feel him during shows. One show had really loud music for short bursts about every minute or so, and at each loud burst, I could feel him move. I think his first sound that he heard besides me may have been the Second City Mainstage Show. Awesome.

Bryan's been able to feel the baby, too, and that's awesome to share it with him. I try to tell him when I feel the baby, so he is included, and Bryan really finds it hilarious to knock on my belly or jiggle me around - especially after I tell him that the baby is probably sleeping. Hilarious, I tell you.

I feel him mostly in the morning after I get to work and begin my morning emails, after eating and normally on the couch. It's most often right after eating that I can feel him the strongest.

Gender: Boy! A handful of favorite names, but I've got no idea what will be his name.

Best Moment of the Week: Putting together the nursery with Bryan. It's just one of those things I remember daydreaming about when I was little and when I was dating Bryan. I thought about what it would be like to put together a crib with my husband with me pregnant. I thought about what it'd be like to fold baby clothes, to joke about what we'll do with a baby, to move the furniture around until it looked just right. It was so surreal. I remember feeling the same feeling on my wedding day, looking in the mirror at myself in a wedding gown.

These huge milestones in my life, that I knew (and hoped) would happen are happening. My life is actually happening how I dreamed about: I married a sweet man and here we are, three years and some change into marriage preparing for a baby. It's so weird how normal it is because it doesn't feel normal to me. Come on, we're Bryan and Alyssa. We're ridiculous adults who eat macaroni and cheese three nights in a row because it's 89 cents and easy, so we can watch hours of tv and only break for five minutes to make it. We're crazy kids who still do improv and travel around the country to do shows that are totally made up. We stay up late playing stupid indie board games. We don't do laundry until we have no underwear and our laundry baskets (when we use them) are too full to put more dirty clothes in.

We are ridiculous. How are we supposed to be parents? I just found it all too sweet and hilarious to be sitting on the floor eating cookies watching Bryan put together our son's bed. It's a memory I will hold onto for forever.

What I'm Looking Forward To: This weekend. I need a chance to relax. To catch up on tv. To find my checkbook (where the heck did I put it!?). To clean my room. To clean the bathroom. To pick out paint colors for the nursery. To take the car to the car wash. To sleep.

What I Miss: Being close to family. I call my mom almost daily, but I wish she could come over and help with some laundry and dishes and vacuuming. I've been gone basically this whole month in China and Dallas and Chicago. My house is a mess! I need some help!

What I've Bought For Baby: Lots! We bought a crib, a changing table, crib sheets, two miniature cardigans, two sweaters, a few onesies, some socks, a little Bryan hat, some shorts, a few button ups and the most adorable plaid onesie in orange (Go Tigers!). We bought a nightlight, a stroller toy, two cute maternity dresses, some adorable khaki pants for baby, and some frames for his room. It was an awesome buying week. Now we've got to just enjoy what we've got and wait for the gifts before we buy anything else. Two baby showers coming up, and I can't wait to see what cute things he gets!

I'm loving being pregnant. I feel wonderful, I look pregnant and I feel happy. I also love being able to feel him moving around inside me. One of my best friends in Oklahoma is due to have her little girl next week, and I'm so excited for her. She's terrified of the labor and delivery (as am I), and has invited me to be her female companion through it since her family lives in China and her husband's family lives in California. I'm honored and excited for this sneak peek into what will be my future in 4 short months.

I will be posting nursery photos later this week. It's adorable, I tell you. And it's so cute to walk down the hall and see a little baby room. The room is right next to ours, and I love peeking in and imagining what it will be like to have a baby in our house. He's gonna fit right in to our crazy little family.

Monday Mind Dump and Goodbye to My First Car

Today is the first day back from spring break, the glorious week off in the middle of the semester, the most wonderful surprise paid vacation mandated by the President. It's lovely.

We had the most awesome vacation. We went to Dallas and bought up the whole town. I'll post pictures of the nursery (that's right! we have stuff now!) and all the most adorable things I bought for our baby. We ate delicious food, saw a movie in a giant fancy theatre and bought way too much stuff. Like literally, we had to return some things because they didn't fit in the car.

Then we went to Chicago. It was even better than last year. We saw incredible shows, workshopped with two of my favorite "friend" instructors, blew the students' minds, ate delicious food, bought some adorable pants for my boy and slept very little. Because comedy doesn't sleep, y'all.

Oh, and we lost my car.

Yeah. My car that I learned to drive in, that I had high school makeouts in, that got hit after a high school party, that I drove around Winter Springs in, that I left at home when I went to Clemson until my parents gave it back to me my senior year, the car that I furiously drove to the DSI theater when I was late but was the only one with the key to let the staff in, the car that I drove to NYC for a spring break, the car that moved me to Philly, the car that drove us to improv in the city, the car that drove me to Oklahoma, the car that I loved: IS GONE. It's in some po-dunk town in Illinois.

Bryan was driving it when all of a sudden it started overheating and smoking. The coolant was gone, and we pulled over to re-fill. We got maybe 30 minutes when smoke came stronger and darker. We emptied the car and put passengers in my car and let Bryan drive it alone. After 10 miles of driving only 30mph, it started smoking black smoke. It's gone. To fix it would be more than $3,000. Had it been in Oklahoma or had we not had 8 people waiting on us or had it not been the day before classes resumed, we may have chosen differently. But alas, it wasn't. It was all of that.

So we said goodbye. I'm so sad. In honor of my Elantra, here's pictures where she was doing her best work:

February Snowstorm

the move to Oklahoma, June 2010

Philly Snow fight with Ben & Adrienne, December 2009

The car we drove away for our honeymoon!

Driving to Florida for our first Christmas together, before the wedding - December 2008

Spring break to NYC - March 2008

Scavenger hunt - Clemson, March 2008

Clemson snow - February 2008

My car has been there for a lot. Five states and eleven years. It's hard to say goodbye, but I think we did the right thing. For now, we have just one car. The brand new car we bought in December. So we're a one car family. I'll take it as a hint that we should be spending more time together.

We work at the same place, so it's not weird to carpool. And our town is super small, so even if I have to run an errand, it won't take me long to get the car back to Bryan. And now we won't need that extra car seat for the baby...



Pregnancy Update

Baby Size: Cantaloupe, 6.5 inches

How Far Along: 20 weeks (minus one day)

Total Weight Gain: 14 pounds. My boy is growing a lot, and I was concerned, but I've been eating healthy and walking often. My body is going to do what it needs to do. I am at peace with the gain. This is not the time to diet or to worry about what I can do to slow the gain. I'm continuing to eat veggies and fruits and walking. That's all I can do. I'll lose it and worry about it later.

Sleep: I'm sleeping wonderfully. I can sleep in, wake early, stay up later. I'm so pleased that I've somehow missed the wake-up-four-times-a-night boat.

Food cravings: popcorn - I love our air popper. Just toss in kernels, turn it on and eat it up with a little salt.

Food aversions: Chinese food. Probably because I ate SO much in China.

Symptoms:
A big belly! This week I definitely FEEL pregnant. I LOOK pregnant.

Exhaustion - When we were walking this weekend, I felt the need to sit down or (to Bryan's embarassment) plop on the floor in the middle of stores. Yes, storeS.

Doctor's Appointment: Today. Everything is great. My nurse is impressed with how good I'm feeling and my good mood. I was less impressed with my gain, but she told me that it's normal and that he's going through a growth spurt. Our baby is very healthy: no Down's, no mutations, nothing abnormal. In fact, I won't even have another ultrasound because he's basically no risk. My belly is measuring on track, and I feel great though I do feel large.

From the front, I don't look pregnant!

Movement: I feel him all the time! Mostly, right after I eat something (he can feel the sugar levels increase), but I feel him moving. I have felt only two kicks, but I feel him all the time. I love it! Bryan has been able to feel him, too. It's crazy!

Gender: BOY! So excited. I thought he was a boy, and he is a boy! I cannot wait to meet him.

Best moment of the week: the whole weekend in Dallas with Bryan. We had a sweet romantic time, and we got to do what we do best: shop! And eat. And buy a weird board game and play it drunk (just Bryan) in our undies at the hotel.

What I'm looking forward to: our trip to Chicago! We leave tonight, so I can't post a picture tomorrow. Today it is!

What I miss: Seeing my 120s and 130s on the scale.

What I've bought for baby this week: SO MUCH! This was a baby-buying weekend. We bought a crib, a mattress, sheets, a changing table, a nightlight, blue owl thank you notes (how could I not!?), an owl stroller toy and a few adorable outfits and one cute Bryan hat in a baby size. I will post pictures soon! This baby is going to be stylish, fancy and live in a sweet, sweet nursery.

I am loving this. This is the fun part! To Pintrest!