Parenting: Do What You Gotta Do

Bryan and I have always agreed that what we do just needs to fit with what we need and what we want. We began our relationship is a flurry of rumors and cold shoulders. From then, we realized it didn't matter what people thought of what we did: if we did right by ourselves, we were doing it right.

We're pretty different from our families. We moved away. We do performance comedy. We travel often. We drink in excess. We play weird games. We don't do chores. We rarely diet. We just don't care.

When we announced my pregnancy, I was pretty worried. I didn't want to be one of those people who become obsessed with their baby, their family, their boring domestic life.

When we had Bradley, I was still worried. I had become a mother. I had lost my cool card.

Or so I thought.

But I still have all my friends. I still travel. I still have my job. I still have a silly marriage. I still perform comedy. I still drink in excess. I still hate chores. I'm still me. I just have a little dude.

It was extremely important to me that I didn't lose myself in motherhood. But, what I've found is that motherhood is different things to different ladies. I had it in my lady brain that my way was the best way. And it was/is FOR ME. Some ladies want to become mothers and be first a mother. That's awesome. If that's what you want.

This has become my mantra: do what you gotta do.

Bryan loves it - especially with his anarchist, freedom-loving, relaxed life perspective. I love it because it really frees me from feeling like I have to do things a certain way and when I don't, I have failed.

Cloth diapering? Go for it. I tried it. It worked. Until it didn't. Then I switched to disposables. Now that works. Do what you gotta do.

BLW? Tried it. It's fun. I'll keep trying it. Bradley started vomitting when he got a chunk of food in his mouth. Then I switched to purees. He loved the smooth, watery way. Made my own and also bought Gerber. Do what you gotta do.

I'm nursing Bradley, but when I don't want to, I'll use formula. I don't judge, and I think it's stupid when people care about this. Are you feeding your kid? Great. Do what you gotta do.

Swaddling? Did it. Then when he started flipping, it wasn't ok to do anymore. So I stopped. But you can bet you ass I swaddled him up until the very last possible night (right before 6 months). Do what you gotta do.

Rock him to sleep? I don't do it, but I do hold him and nurse him to sleep. Am I babying him? Yep. But HE'S A BABY!!! Then he started crying as soon as I put him down, so we cried it out because I couldn't handle holding him every night for 1.5 hours. Do what you gotta do.

Parenting is hard enough. You're just guessing and checking, seeing what works, a constant experiment with ever changing variables and often wrong hypotheses. I've found that you have to trust yourself, do right by yourself, by your partner and by your kid.

I can't think about what our parents will think if we....
I can't think about what our friends will think if we....
I can't think about what our nanny will think if we....
I can't think abotu what strangers will think if we....

I need to only think about what we think is right. What's going to work best for our little family, for our little fat baby. Do what you gotta do.

That being said, the most helpful advice we've gotten in the past six months:
1) Do what you gotta do.
2) When you can't handle the crying, do the Ferber method. After three nights, he started sleeping from 7-6.
3) Be present with your kid - put the phone away and turn off the tv.
4) Go outside, go places, travel. Teach your baby to adapt to the craziness of life.
5) Take pictures. You really don't remember as well as you think you will. The pictures help!

An attempt at catching up:improv

So much has happened.




















This past weekend, we took Bradley with us to Oklahoma City for the comedy festivus weekend. He slept the whole way in the car, and we even stopped to see Santa Claus at the mall. Of course, the moment Bradley smiled, Santa coughed. Thanks, old man.

We taught a workshop, and I had Bradley in the moby for most of it. It was surreal to give notes with a baby giggling right on my belly. It reminded me of being pregnant.

Everyone was happy to see us, and it was wonderful to not be pregnant. The bartender had my red wine ready! We hung out backstage before the show, and Bradley was so popular. He thought he was so cool hanging out with all the performers. And believe me, he was.

8pm came and the first group went to perform. We were headlining, so we had another hour before our set began. I started nursing Bradley (if I hear ONE MORE GODDAMN JOKE about breastfeeding and how someone can "get in on it" or "where's the line?" I'm gonna slap a bitch) and got him ready for bed. We set him down in the pack-n-play, had a lady improviser ready to snag him if he cried and started warm ups. Which nowadays consist of us going, "Do you think we'll still be funny?" and "What suggestion do you want to get?"

After intermission, we stood behind the curtain and just danced. It was just like old times, and I don't think either of us remembered that we had a baby sleeping backstage. Bryan's challenge was to initiate the crap out of the show, and mine was to vary distances between characters. And then we heard, "RED LETTERS!" and we ran out.

We joked about being parents and got a non-baby related suggestion and did the show. It was my favorite show we've ever done. It was incredible. Laughs followed by applause. What? Are you sure we're not just boring old parents whose only joke is going "blubufhajsghdf" to Bradley. So much fun.

After the show, we made out talked about the show in a corner and I've never felt more in love with Bryan than when we're basking in our own comedy afterglow. Instantly, our marriage was better. We were so happy, so happy to have done a good show, so happy to still be funny, so h appy to do something together that we both love so much.

We finally made it backstage to see our baby was still sleeping. I grabbed the little dude and walked into the theatre so we could get seats for the next show. He slept through the first act, then woke for the second (I went backstage to nurse) and then he LOVED watching. It was incredible. He stood on my legs just staring at the performers. I looked to my right, saw my hilarious husband and on my lap was my future hilarious son. And probably, for the first time since Bradley was born, I felt like my life was complete, in that moment, it was everything I'd imagined - and better.

Also: we have been named Oklahoma's Best Comedy Duo.

Bradley Douglas: Four Months

On November 26, Bradley was four months old.

To be honest, it's been the longest four months of my life.

Bradley is a really cool baby. He's still really chill, adorably chunky and serious. I love him.

He's outgrown all his 3-6 month outfits, and he's currently wearing 6-9 month clothes. When he's wearing clothes. He pretty much hates clothes. When he's naked, he's the happiest baby alive. We try to avoid changing outfits unless he's messed himself because he hates putting on clothes. He will put up with a onesie, but if you try to put him in pants, a jacket or socks, he'll give you the stink eye and make it as difficult as he can for you to put them on him.

Developmentally, he's getting more fun. There are ways to make him laugh (sometimes), and he's smiling whenever he sees me or Bryan, and now the nanny! It's sweet. He's "talking" more and more each day. He's grabbing things still, and pretty much everything goes in his mouth. He likes to watch tv (I am not okay with this, but Bryan thinks it's good....more thoughts later), loves to watch Bryan pick up around the house (so much so that he stops nursing to see what Bryan is doing), loves to see his reflection and laugh at the chunky baby.

He has rolled over twice, but that's it. I don't think he really cares to roll over. I don't care if he rolls over. I told Bryan I would prefer for him to be stationary so I can know where he is - and I'm not ready to baby proof the house yet.

He LOVES to stand. It is his favorite way of being. If he sits too long, he'll cry. He'll cry until you help him stand. He can actually hold most of his weight - it's the balance that he has trouble with. He loves standing and looking around. I think he feels cool.

He's pretty cool. We've taken him to Tulsa about every other weekend since he's been born, and he does well. He loves high ceilings and bright lights and females like waitresses or store employees. He travels so well - we had two big family trips this past month, and he did wonderfully! Despite being on eight airplanes, waking up early, staying up past bedtimes, skipping naps, being passed around like an offering plate, and constantly being in new places. We had a few meltdowns, and we learned a few things about Bradley. He's not a fan of large, loud groups: it makes him nervous and he cries. He needs to nurse often when we're away, when he's feeling uncomfortable I'm his best calming method.

His favorite toy is his foxy squirrel. Not only is it the toy that makes him laugh, but its skinny arms make it really easy for him to hold...and shove into his mouth. He loves anything that makes music, so we might be addicted to buying baby Einstein toys. He still loves to eat burp cloths.

He's teething. Enough said.

He's really interested in the idea of drinking. We have been using the high chair for meals, so Bradley allows both of us to cook and eat without holding a baby. It's been great for patience but now for inclusion in family dinner. He loves to watch us drink. He will stare at the cup, then watch us drink and watch us put it back. The food: not as interested. I am considering using a sippy cup, so he can see what this whole drinking thing is all about!

He got his shots yesterday, and the poor guy had a tough time because his legs were sore. I just cuddled him up and made him feel as comfortable as possible. I am thankful for a strong husband who takes Bradley for his shots because there is no way I could do it!

His measurements:
Height 25.5 inches (75%)
Weight: 17.5 lbs (75%)
Head: 75%

We asked the pediatrician about starting solids (I really want to!), but the pediatrician said, "No, I think your baby is chunky enough as is. He's getting everything he needs from mom." But, we are allowed to let him take a taste. Which should be fun!

I love this guy, and I definitely think I love him more the longer we have him. I'm excited to see him at Christmas, and I selfishly hope that no one buys me a present for the baby. I'm still me!

Fly me out of this place

Life is moving at warp speed.

I blink and it's two weeks later. Where has the time gone?

When I returned from my work trip to Canada, I went straight to work for a six hour day without lunch. I took a quick break to nurse, but I forgot to eat. The next day I worked a nine hour day and left in the middle of the night for South Carolina.

We saw Bryan's family -and his mom who is battling as hard as she can against the cancer. We got to see her at the cancer center, and I can't imagine how wonderful it was to hold her grandson after hours of chemotherapy. We shared our fat baby with her all weekend, and I think she felt like she had reason to fight. She kept calling Bradley "Grandma's baby" and I will forever remember Bradley as "Grandma's baby."

We landed Monday night and without time to grocery shop, do laundry, unpack, clean house, it was morning and we both went to work leaving Bradley with the nanny apologizing as we rushed out the door for the state of the house and lack of snacks. Today was a whirlwind with Bryan doing a phone interview (please lord, get us out of here) while Bradley napped, and I worked like crazy catching up on everything and doing extra to make the rest of the week run smoothly.

Tonight, I have to choose from the cleanest clothes we have and re-pack for another trip where we'll leave at 4am to catch our flight to Orlando for my sister's wedding/family reunion. My uncle who I never see (haven't in four years) is flying in with his two kids, and all the family will be there. Everyone wants to see Bradley, of course, and if there's anything I learned from my trip to South Carolina is that he is most definitely Bryan's son: the quieter, smaller the group, the better. Anytime we were in a large group or in a noisy place, he freaked out. Anytime we were alone in a house in a quiet living room, he was laughing and smiling.

And if you know my family, you know we're louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud. And they will all want to hold him. I'm going to have to hope for the best.

My boss is pretty upset with all my travel, but I truly can't help it. I couldn't miss seeing Bryan's mom and I couldn't miss my sister's wedding - I'm the freaking maid of honor. (I refuse to say matron!) But I've trained the new staff person, and I'm available by phone and email all weekend long.

Can someone say a prayer or send good vibes for us as we try to survive our third trip in less than two weeks? And see a million family? And as I try to successfully breastfeed in a bridesmaid dress?

I need a vacation. A REAL one, where I sit in pajamas and read and sleep in and do nothing. That's Thanksgiving. If I can get to next Wednesday, I'll be the happiest lady around.

Don't blink. #drwho

 

Work Trip Post baby: pumping

As I am still breastfeeding my baby (made it three months!), I knew I needed to pump during my trip to keep my supply.

Originally, I planned to dump everything, but the advice of many said to keep what I could and bring it back. So I kept about half.

Pumping in the morning and before bed was no problem. It was my hotel room and my personal time. It was easy.

Pumping during the work day was tough. I didn't bring my pump to the office, and I just popped over every 5 hours to pump when there was a clear break. It wasn't easy, but it was manageable.

Pumping in the airport: wildly different experiences. I didn't pump in Tulsa since I just fed bradley. In Chicago and Vancouver, I used a family bathroom. While not pleasant, it was access to a plug, sink and privacy.

Then I landed in LA where I learned that they have no family bathrooms! And no plugs in regular bathrooms!- I asked a customer service staff member where I could pump and he said over there, pointing to a gate. Not excited, I started to walk there, but a shift supervisor told me I could use her office. What a lifesaver! I pumped in her office in private in a clean chair and thanked her for her kindness.

She breastfed her baby for nine moths. And the lady in the bathroom later when I was dumping and washing, told me she nursed her twins to five months and she remembered doing the same. A wonderful camaraderie.

The only tough part was Canadian security. I told the officer I had a pump and a small section of the bag had milk. She told me that I couldn't have milk without a baby. WHAT?!

Why would I need a pump if I ha my baby? She told me I needed to throw away all my milk, that it wasn't allowed. I read up on my rights prior to the trip, and I know I could travel with milk! I calmly explained myself and she refused, so I requested her supervisor. The supervisor said I could take the milk, but they had to do additional screening - and then they took three bags from my cooler compartment because it was "too much milk." whatever. I kept the other 11 bags. Still, I think illegal.

I mean, I hate pumping. I hadn't pumped in weeks prior to this trip because Bradley has been doing well with my work schedule - and waiting for me. This whole pumping, disassembling, washing, putting away, saving milk process sucks. I hate it. Ao much easier to just give the dude the boob.

But if I don't pump, I'll lose my supply. And while I'm getting to the point of wanting my body back (and exercising and dieting hardcore), I'm not there 100% yet. So I did it. But I did not enjoy it.

I'm looking forward to my vacation this weekend and nursing my baby all the damn time. Screw bottles and pumps!

Baby Manipulation

I will never forget the night Bryan and I realized our baby was manipulating us.

Last night, we put the little guy to bed with a fresh outfit, fresh diaper and swaddled him up. He was asleep and thirty minutes later, we hear fussing.

Bryan and I read the controversial book Bringing Up Bebe during pregnancy, and we agreed with most of what the book promoted: parents keeping their sexy relationship, babies/children eating what parents eat, and teaching patience at a young age. One important parenting move is "the pause" which is a time when you observe what your child is doing prior to reacting.

We hear the fussing and Bryan says to me, "Do you want to try the pause?"

I'm torn. While philosophically I believe in the pause, it's hard to let my baby cry. But he's not crying; he's fussing, so I agree. We wait about five minutes and the cries escalate.

"I gotta get him!"
"Are you sure?" Bryan asks. "It will probably take more than five minutes to teach him."
"I don't know. Do you think we should?"

"I don't care either way, babe. Whatever you think is best."

"I think it's best, but I don't feel it's best."
"Then go get him, babe."

So we go get him. As soon as I turn on the lamp, his fusses stop and he looks at me.

"He had real tears, Bryan!"
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Real tears!"
"But he's not wet, he's not hurt, he's not anything. He just wants to be held."

I pick him up. With eyes closed, Bradley smiles.

"He's manipulating you, Alyssa."

He stops smiling and opens one eye.

"Oh my gosh, he is!"

He smiles with eyes closed.

"He's fake sleeping, Alyssa. He's faking it. He just wants you to hold him."

And we stood there staring at our manipulative baby who was fake sleeping and totally pleased with himself in getting us to come pick him up.

I put him down and he started fussing again.

"He's manipulating you."
"I know, but he's crying!"

"It's manipulation!"

"Real tears, Bryan!"

And I picked him up again. Smiles.

"He is totally manipulating me!"

"I told you, babe."

So I finally rocked him to a deep sleep, laid him down and told him that was it, no more. And he didn't wake up again until the middle of the night.

But now I'm stuck. My baby is manipulating me. While I think it's the right thing to teach him NOT to manipulate me, I have a hard time just letting him cry (real tears). Here we face our first crossroads. And we better choose quickly.

Bradley Douglas: 3 Months

On October 26, Bradley was three months old. To celebrate, we left him with a babysitter and went out for our first date night since he was born. It's worth celebrating because we made it three months as parents and have still maintained our good humor and sweet relationship.

Bradley is growing a lot. Mostly in fatness. Since he was born, he's gained eight pounds and four and a half inches. He's wearing 3-6 month clothes and some 6-9 months.

Developmentally, he's way more fun than a month ago. He's grabbing toys, fingers, blankets, burp cloths, hair, shirts, spoons, whatever we give him. He's able to move things like his hands and his blankets into his mouth (a sure sign for me that he's hungry).

He's "talking" a lot. He likes to make coos and agoos and (it might sound crazy) ma. We have heard him distinctly say "mom" three times. It's pretty awesome. He says "ma" or "aah" in the middle of the night, and we think he's calling for me. The boy loves me.

He hasn't rolled over yet, and I'm not sure that it's going to happen anytime soon. The combination of his fatness and his apathy probably are enough to let him lay or sit in one position for long periods of time - without ever thinking, hmmm, let me move.

He's pretty funny. He likes to fart and then laugh afterwards. He thinks songs are hilarious. He also loves it when we fake scream at him.

He's great with our nanny and with Bryan, and he'll tolerate other people holding him if they do it right. You see, he's a fat baby with preferences. You have to hold him one of two ways: upright and facing you so he can look behind you OR sitting in the crook of your arm facing out like a king on a throne.

His favorite toys are the musical Panda and the foxy squirrel. Both can get him to laugh. Other toys are uninteresting and he will just stare at them. His other favorite toy is a burp cloth. He loves to hold it and then put it in his mouth and eat it. This may be his favorite activity.

He's sleeping great now! When we put him to bed, he'll sleep a minimum of 4 hours (up to 8 hours - it has only happened once). He wakes up only once during the night and will sleep until I wake him between 7:15-7:30. He takes a long morning nap and two small afternoon naps.

He is learning patience. We put him in his bouncer while we cook and eat, and he is sometimes unhappy, but we say, "Just wait, Bradley. We're eating." I'm not sure that he understands entirely, but he has stopped fussing or crying and just pouts. Which is way easier to deal with.

He's also just more fun to be around. He's at an age where he wants to look at everything (especially pictures - he loves this one big picture of our entire wedding party the most) and he wants attention. If Bryan and I are talking, he'll make a sound and when we look or talk to him, he'll just smile like he's the happiest baby around.

For the most part, he's a pretty serious baby. He takes in a lot and only gives out smiles when he's really impressed. I love that.

 I love my fat, serious baby. He's perfect.

Controversial Parenting Choices

Sleeping in his crib since Day 1

We believe that there won't be any difficulty of transition if he's always been sleeping in his crib. We are also pretty against co-sleeping for a few reasons, mostly because it's our bed, not the family bed. He's been so great at sleeping in his crib, and we often put him down awake, and he'll fall asleep on his own (10 weeks on).

No Pacifiers
We lost this battle. In the hospital, I didn't want him to have a pacifier because I was worried he would have trouble breastfeeding. So for the first week, he didn't have any pacifiers. But I was gone one day for my checkup, and my mom couldn't calm him, so she gave him a pacifier. It works.

We try to use it as a last resort - or if we're in public at a restaurant or something. It works for when Bryan or the nanny need to calm Bradley before I'm able to get home and feed him.

Cloth Diapers
Bryan was the one who thought we should do cloth diapering. I didn't realize there was a whole culture and "type" of parenting behind cloth diapering. He wanted to do it, and now that we're in so far, I can't remember his original reasoning. I like it because I think it's super cute on his bum. It's also great that we don't have to run out to the store if we're low on diapers. And given the choice, I'd want my butt in some soft microfleece rather than plasticy cotton.

We use disposables when we're out for the day in Tulsa, and we use them at night. We have a "fancy" baby who won't stay in a wet diaper for more than a minute or two. Imagine our shock when we switched to disposables at night and he slept way longer.

The laundry isn't that bad. We have 20 newborn and 20 all in ones that he should be able to wear until he's 2. I love the colors, and I love knowing he's in the most comfortable diaper out there.
Holding As Much As Possible/Desired

This is something both sides of the family think is stupid/bad for the baby. Everything I've read says there's no proven evidence that shows not holding your baby helps them with independence. My thinking was: I carried this baby for nine months, I want to keep carrying him. Also, everyone kept saying, this will go by fast, and so I wanted to spend 80% of my time holding him, even when he was sleeping, so I could soak up all the memories, the baby smell, the little features, everything.

I put him down when I needed to do something, and I handed him off to family or Bryan when I felt like I could, but I just wanted to hold him. I'd never gotten to hold a baby so small before, and as the mother, I could hold him as long as I wanted: he was mine! So I did. And I have no regrets. None. I would hold him all day long again for six weeks straight if I could.

And now, at 11 weeks, he's great. He loves to be held, but there are times when he's fussing because he wants to sit in his bouncer and watch us from afar. He's gaining independence AND I got to hold him as much as I wanted.

My biggest advice to new moms would be to hold your baby all the time. Isn't there going to be a day when they won't want to cuddle? Or when they will be too big? Or when you'll have to work all day? I got my fill of baby cuddles, and I loved it.

Half Glasses of Wine
After nine months of no alcohol (Ben and Adrienne's wedding was my last hoorah), I wanted my red wine. And boy was that first sip delicious. I enjoy and appreciate wine even more. I've lost my taste for beer, and I haven't touched liquor, but my wine...oh, I love my red wine.

I think a half glass of wine is nothing to be ashamed of. And I would also enjoy the half glass right after he nursed, so I had at least an hour and upwards of three before he would need to nurse again. I go by the: Sober enough to drive, sober enough to nurse.

Now that Bradley sleeps 5-6 hours at night, I can enjoy a full glass (or two!) with Bryan at night. And I would never do that unless I was sure Bradley wouldn't need me...or I had a stash.

No Sleep Sacks
Mostly because they are UGLY. U-G-L-Y. I hate them. I also think they make boys look like girls. My mother bought me two, and I told her that I wanted to return them. She said, No, you'll love them in the middle of the night for diaper changes. Well, I tried it, and I hated it. So I was right!

He looked like a girl and it was much harder than a onesie. My baby sleeps in a onesie with snaps, swaddled in a blanket. Nowadays, we have a mod swad - but that's different.


9:00-10:00 Bedtime
Well, this turned out to be a pretty poor decision. It worked (I guess) for the first five weeks, but then he'd start crying at 8. So we put him to bed at 8. Then he started crying at 7, so we put him to bed at 7, and I think 7 works best now.

We were crazy thinking our baby could stay up so late. There are occasions when we keep him out late (comedy shows), and he stays up late, but it is certainly not a good idea for his regular bedtime.

Nanny/Working Mom/Stay at Home Dad
While nannies have been around forever, many people think we're crazy. I think you're crazy if you think I'm going to trust my tiny newborn to daycare in my wretched little town. The daycares are in warehouses or dirty houses. No, I knew I wanted someone to watch my baby and only my baby since before I was pregnant. And it's the best decision for us - Bradley can stay in his own environment, be around someone that's not his parents (BIG controversy - parents should be the only ones parenting says my father in law) and I can return to work.

I've already written about the difficulty with being a working mom, and that's controversial enough. Bryan has arranged his schedule to be home MWF, and it's great because during my maternity leave, I barely let him hold Bradley. So now he gets uninterrupted time with him. They have a great time, and they do things that I don't do with him - and things the nanny doesn't do with him. And I think that's awesome.

My son is getting to learn that people are different and that when you hang out with one person, it will be totally different than hangingout with someone else. With Bryan, they sing songs (They Might Be Giants or Cake), do lots of time on the activity gym, naked time, baths and watch cartoons. With the nanny, they do cuddling, reading her literature (she's an English major and they read the Raven yesterday) and she speaks softly. With me, we cuddle, I talk (loudly) and try to get him to talk, dress him up in outfits, walk around the house and show him pictures and take pictures. I think it's great for his development, and it's something some family have a hard time believing is the right choice.

Best Products for a 3 Month Old

Bradley is almost three months old, and his needs have definitely changed. We have found that many of these products are amazingly helpful for entertaining our growing baby.

Baby Einstein Panda

He loves this panda so much. It was one of the first things he laughed at. It sits on his changing table, and he can look at it when he's getting changed. It plays music with different instruments when you press his hands and feet. It's pretty cool, but it's funny how much Bradley LOVES the panda. It always makes him smile. Always.

It was the first object he started grabbing at. I think he is learning cause and effect, and he knows that when we touch the panda, it makes a musical sound. So whenever he reaches for it and touches it, we push the music for him. I'm waiting for the day for him to make them music play on his own.

Fisher Price Bouncer

He still LOVES this. He takes his afternoon nap in it. He sleeps for 2-4 hours in it. It's a godsend.

It's also perfect for when I'm getting ready: I just put him in the bouncer and move it to the bathroom while I do my hair and makeup. It's great for making dinner. We give him a spoon and let him watch us cook. We like to take vegetables down to his level, so he can smell them. He really enjoys watchign us make dinner. Often, Bryan and I will be busy talking about our days with Bradley on the bouncer on the floor, and all of a sudden, he'll babble like he wants to be included. It's pretty cute.

Baby Sunglasses

Bradley is kind of a vampire. He hates the light. Loves the dark. If there's a light on, it will take him a good five minutes to get his eyes all the way open. He starts with one eye, then both eyes half open with lots of long blinking, then finally opens and looks around.

Whenever we go outside, he slams his eyes shut. He hates it. So we bought him some sunglasses, and he loves them. He leaves them on, and you can see him open his eyes in the sun more with them on. It's so cute, too. I love stylish baby.

We got the last pair at Carter's - apparently sunglasses are out of stock after July. We scored these on sale for $3.

Baby Gap

Not only is Baby Gap made for fat babies, their onesies go over fat cloth diapers, too. I love how stylish their clothes are, and I'm addicted to their sale rack.

I like to buy tiny versions of what Bryan wears. I think babies in adult clothes is like the cutest thing ever. Now that we're finally out of the tiny clothes, everything Bradley wears is something I have personally picked out and bought for him which means I love anything he wears.

He is so freaking cute in his little man outfits, and with my sister's wedding fast approaching, we bought him a nice dress shirt onesie, a very cute blazer and some sweet shoes. All he needs is pants, but I'm gonna buy that closer to the trip.



Skip Hop Activity Gym
I HAD to buy this because it had owls. Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby and Pottery Barn Kids all sell it - but different versions. We got the Pottery Barn Kids version because the colors were more muted and the animals were cuter. For a long time, he never noticed anything about it. It was like laying on a boring blanket, and I thought we'd wasted our money.

Until he hit two months old: then he LOVED it.

First, he enjoyed looking at everything. Then he liked swatting at everything. Then he liked holding the tags, the tails, the hoops, the animals.

In a good mood, he can spend about 20 minutes playing. His newest trick is to kick the plush bars and watch ALL the toys move.

What I love is that the animals are easily rearranged. Since he loves the bird most (wish he loved one of the owls best!), we move that one closest to him. The others are all second place after the bird.

Mod Swad

We bought this after seeing Zach Ward's baby in a straight jacket like blanket. And when this came, we experienced our first four hour long stretch, then four and a half, then five, and the other night six hours. This is the most awesome sleep tool!

First, it's super soft. I want a blanket made for me out of it!

Second, it's very easy. All you have to do is put your baby on it, zip it up and button at the top. Instant swaddle.

Bradley loves it. He just thinks it's hilarious once he's all zipped up. And even if he was just laughing a few minutes ago, once he's swaddled and laid down in the crib, he's asleep in minutes - and STAYS asleep! I think this is my favorite product.

Best Products for a Newborn

Carter's Swaddle Blankets
I bought and registered a bunch of the cute receiving blankets from Babies R Us. And they were TINY! Even for Bradley as a newborn. Their uses have been to cover his cold body or cover my breast in public.

Carter's blankets are awesome - they can't be found in Carter's stores (well, that would be too easy), but you can find them in Macy's, JC Penny and Dillards. We use them to swaddle every night.

Fisher Price Bouncer

This is my favorite thing we've bought Bradley.

It serves as a great place to put him when we're not holding him, and when he was little, he would just nap and nap in it. It has really soothing music (that isn't annoying) and vibrations that help keep him asleep.

We would often put him in there in the afternoons in the first two weeks and catch naps while he napped. It's a great place to put him, too, if I needed to shower or eat and I was home alone.

Eddie Bauer Travel System
We LOVE our stroller and carseat combo. I wish I would have waited a few more weeks to buy because they came out with an awesome blue design. But we've got the red. It's okay. I've come to terms with my impulsive buys. Patience!

The stroller passes the one handed test: both up and down. And the carseat snap easily into the base in the car. You kind of have to be a pro to get it out, but we've learned how. When we first put him in the carseat, he'd scream and scream, but after a week, he'd just wimper and get over it. The stroller is a godsend at the mall - and Bradley was too small for the stroller as a newborn, so we'd just snap his carseat in the stroller and keep going with the day. The undercarriage has great space, and there's room for FOUR cups. Shut the front door.

Boppy Pillow

I wouldn't be breastfeeding without this device. We brought it with us to the hospital, and the nurses were so h appy to see it. Supporting a 7 or 8 pound newborn while trying to adjust yourself and keep him steady for 20-40 minutes is tough. The boppy pillow was incredible at that.

There's an alternative, but it's called my Breast Friend which I would not buy on principle. I'm sure it's a fine product though.

Pregnancy Update: 38 Weeks

How Big is Baby: pumpkin, 18 inches, 6-8 lbs
How Far Along: 38 Weeks

Weight Gain: 34 pounds. 1 pound gain this week. I did it. I stayed under 35 pounds!

Sleeping: I can't stay asleep. I'm awake thinking about the baby, about the room, about whether I should get up to pee or wait a little longer. And I'm snoring. It's not pretty.

Food Cravings: sweets like brownies, cookies, cake, pudding

Food Aversions: none

Symptoms: 
swollen feet - what else is new?
lack of appetite - I'll eat because I have to, but it's not a huge priority for me
gas - ugh

Doctor's Appointment: I have one today (Wednesday) at 1:30. After a seemingly regular checkup, she sent me straight to the hospital due to high blood pressure, protein in my urine and my swelling. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia where the only cure is delivery of the baby.  So off we went.

Movement: He's active. I know I'll miss this the most when I'm not pregnant.

Gender: Boy. Still no name. Deciding between a long list now that the top name is out.

Best Moment of the Week: presenting my report for the fall 2012 enrollment: I successfully recruited the largest cohort of new international students at NSU ever. Booyah.

What I'm Looking Forward to: seeing what our baby looks like!

What I Did/Got For Baby: We packed up our bags and put them in the car. Bryan installed the car seat in the car. We made a double batch of cheesecake ice cream (super important that I get calcium, you know?). We cleaned the whole house and started cleaning the garage.

What I Learned This Week: Life is crazy unpredictable!!

Pregnancy Update: 37 Weeks

How Big is Baby: winter melon, 19-21 inches, about 6-8 pounds

How Far Along: 37 weeks - FULL TERM!

Weight Gain: 33 pounds. 1 pound gained this week. I may actually stay under 35 pounds! How did I do it? I have no idea, man.

Sleeping: I am sleeping pretty well. I go to bed around 11 or 12 and sleep until morning with anywhere from two to six pee breaks throughout the night. I love naps, and I've been taking one every day now. I'm also great at sleeping in!

Food Cravings: wine! rare steak, Kraft mac-n-cheese

Food Aversions: fast food, nothing else really

Symptoms:
Swollen feet/ankles: But what else is new?

Braxton Hicks contractions: Getting ready for the big day!

Fatigue: naps and sleep are my favorite pastimes

Thirst: I drink water a lllllll day long

Doctor's Appointment: I saw my midwife on Monday. My 24 hour urine sample was perfect, my blood draws were great and my weight gain is right on track (if a little under). My blood pressure was high at 140/92, but she isn't too concerned since we're getting so close to the end - and since there's no other symptoms.

I have a visit on Friday, too, to see if my blood pressure has stayed the same, gone down or risen. She predicts I'll have my baby before my due date.

Movement: Baby has been moving less, probably because there's less room in there. He still loves some dub step music, especially PantyRaid's Get the Money. So weird! I can feel him very low, and I know he's ready to make an exit soon! He is still most active at 10:30 at night. I'm so curious to see if this continues outside the womb.

Gender: Boy. Two of my friends recently had babies and BOTH of them named them one of my top two names. I'm not sure if this is a coincidence or if this is a trend. Either way, I'm leaning toward the other name. But then again, I feel no need to name my son before he is born. I think when I see him, I'll know. And if I don't, then, well...we can worry about that then.

Best Moment of the Week: Our spontaneous trip to Tulsa. After spending three days on bed rest and getting skinny, skinny ankles, I was dying to leave the house. So we made the trip and did what we do best: shopped. We walked the mall, we bought a new computer (you know, so we can edit baby video and baby pictures), some things for the nursery, some things for me, some special candy from the candy store (can you get sugar-covered coke bottles anywhere else?), some Firehouse subs (I'm addicted!) and just wandered around at our own pace. Because we can. And we won't be able to anytime soon after the baby comes.

Side note: my feet blew up, so it really probably was our last trip to Tulsa until we've got a baby. Although, the Dark Knight comes out this weekend...and I'd love to see it in iMax. We'll see how the weekend goes.

What I'm Looking Forward to: seeing our baby. I want to see him and hold him and bring him home to his cute cute nursery!

What I've Got/Did for Baby: All his newborn (all four outfits) and 0-3 months clothes, his blankets, his burp cloths, his sheets, his changing pad cover, his stuffed animals, his socks have all been washed. In special fragrant-free detergent on delicate. And then folded and put away. It's so surreal to have his room ready to go!

We also finished up the registries and bought the remaining items: the bumbo seat, the pack-n-play, the diaper pail (please baby, don't poop too much), some organizers, some owl toys, an owl activity thing and a mobile (we're making our own....pictures to come - it was Bryan's idea!). I even kicked Bryan and his Diablo out of the nursery, and we set up a new computer game station (with the new computer) so baby won't have to listen to his dad killing demons.

What I Learned This Week: We are quickly running out of lazy weekends in bed and wandering around malls. This is getting real. Too real. It's happening too fast. I feel like just yesterday I was 30 weeks pregnant. These last 7 weeks have gone by too fast!

Pregnancy Update: 36 Weeks

How Big is Baby: honeydew, 18 inches, about 5 pounds

How Far Along: 36 weeks

Weight Gain: 32 pounds. No gain this week. I've been eating well, but shouldn't baby have gained something this week??

Sleeping: I slept pretty horribly while Bryan was gone, but since Monday night, I've slept soooooooo well. I sleep through the whole night, and I only wake up once to pee!

Food Cravings: sweets. cookies!

Food Aversions: fast food (even the sight of it on tv makes me gross)

Symptoms:
Swollen feet/ankles/calves - This is really concerning. I've had swollen feet since Sunday night. I hate it, and it's awful to walk. I am walking on balloons.

BH Contractions - Infrequent, but more often.

Pelvic Pain - Sometimes there is a shooting pain down there.

Doctor's Appointment: I had one today. My midwife is worried. She wanted to put me on bedrest, but with three people recently quitting, I just can't! I begged and begged, and she has now mandated half days starting on Monday.

She was really worried about my swelling. Even though I have no other symptoms of pre-eclampsia (my blood pressure is fine, there's no protein in my urine, my bloodwork is great, and my weight gain has been steady/not there), she says it could happen at any time. So we're looking out for me. I'm doing another 24 hour urine sample, another ultrasound (check on the baby) and more frequent appointments.

I also got the prediction that she thinks I won't make it to my due date. I'm scared (and emotional about this), but Bryan is excited. He wants this baby now. I'm not ready, and I'm feeling so overwhelmed that I'm just scared. I don't know if I can handle being a mom!

Movement: Baby moves a lot, and he loves to move at times when I feel lonely. It's sweet to have a baby with me all the time. I will miss this part of pregnancy, the rolls and the quiet kicks. One thing that's super cute is that the baby will move to the side that Bryan's on. I love this! I think he's the favorite already. How can I compete?

Gender: Boy. Damn, we need to choose a name. I am tired of people suggesting names. This week, I got "Bryan Jr." or "Junior" or "Bryant" or "Bryson." Okay, we know the names we're thinking of, and those aren't them. You know it.

Best Moment of the WeekI: Picking up Bryan from the airport and having him home. There's nothing more comforting than having someone to snuggle or waking up to someone. I love that.

What I'm Looking Forward to: Nothing right now. I'm scared of the tests, of the results, of everything. I'm just not there.

What I've Got for Baby: Bryan's mom bought a bunch of cute onesies for the baby while Bryan was home with her. I wish I could've been there for the shopping, but I'm glad Bryan and his mom got to have some sweet memories picking out cute clothes for the baby. I know that baby will know how much he is loved.

What I've Learned this Week: Swelling isn't good. Even if you are eating well, drinking LOTS of water, resting with your feet up and have good blood pressure, your body could still kick out a baby. Thankfully, I'm 9 months pregnant now. I've got a full-term baby. He could use some more time, obviously, and I'm hoping he stays in as long as possible, but I am thankful that we will have a healthy baby.

Geez. I'm overwhelmed.

Pregnancy Update: 35 Weeks

How Big is Baby: coconut, 17-19 inches, 4-6lbs
How Far Along: 35 Weeks

Weight Gain: 32 pounds. Three pounds this week. Perhaps it was all the ice cream,  but maybe it's all baby. We'll see what the midwife thinks...at this point, I'm over caring. I'm big and I'm pregnant. Shove it.

Sleeping: Besides last night (where I got only 4 hours of sleep and no middle of the night bathroom trips), I've been sleeping well. I'm hot, and I can barely stand the sheet. We have the A/C set to 72, the overhead fan on and a little box fan next to my side of the bed. I wake up anywhere from two to six times a night to pee. It's getting old.

Food Cravings: I've been craving ice cream. All. The. Time.

Food Aversions: nothing really

Symptoms:
Swollen feet - I can't escape this. I rest them, I drink water and I try to make them go away.

BH Contractions - I get them, and actually, as I'm typing, I'm having one right now. It's the perfect excuse to practice my breathing techniques and meditation.

Fatigue - I am sooooooooooooo tired. If I get lots of sleep, I'm still sleepy. I need naps, and lots of 'em.

Doctor's Appointment: I've got one tomorrow morning. My weekly appointments begin. I also begin to have internal checks.

Movement: Baby is rolling around like a cute baby. He loves the night time. I can't wait to see him move outside of me.

Gender: Boy.

Best Moment of the Week: Probably last night. We bailed on a party early so we could go home and watch Alien and stay up late talking about politics, religion, ethics and philosophy until the early morning hours. I love that we can still talk  (or not talk) for hours.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa day tomorrow. I'm spending the whole day at the spa with a massage and an hour long pedicure (what will they do to my feet for an hour??). I'm also going to lunch at PF Changs and then wandering home to relax all weekend long.

What I've Got for Baby: Nothing really. I plan to wash some of his clothes and his sheets. Can you believe it's that time?

What I've Learned this Week: What could be a challenge can turn into opportunity.

Pregnancy Update: 34 Weeks

How Big is Baby: Honeydew, 17.2-18.7 inches, 4-6 lbs
How Far Along: 34 Weeks

Weight Gain: 29 pounds. Two pounds this week. I am hoping it's the baby gaining. I am really not ready to see the 3 in front of another number. I haven't ever gained this much weight. Thankfully, I was talking to my aunt over the weekend, and she says that twenty pounds come off within a month. The last bits are the parts you have to work off - and that I don't mind. I have been dreaming about running and doing Jillian Michaels and getting skinny. I want that.

Sleeping: I sleep lots, but I'm always tired. I need more sleep. I wake up at least twice a night to pee, so it's interupting my sleep. I could use a daily nap, but there's never enough time.

Food Cravings: sour candy, cold water and fajitas with fresh salsa. I'm making a bowl of salsa with a whole tomato, half a jalapeno, a little bit of onion and some fresh lime juice and then DEVOURING it at least twice this week.

Food Aversions: pizza

Symptoms:
Crazy swollen feet - This has been my worst symptom. And of course, it's still here. I can't make it past lunch without seeing major swelling. I have been very worried about it, but my blood pressure is normal (and well within the healthy range) and my water intake is good. There also hasn't been any protein in my urine, so we're good. Except for the fat feet!!

Frequent urination - It came! All pregnancy I've somehow maintained my ability to hold my urine for several hours at a time even while consuming ridiculous amounts of water. It happens at work, about every two hours, and while I'm sleeping, anywhere from two to five times a night. It happens at home, especially, maybe because my body knows my bathroom is clean and so close.

Increase in breast size - my breasts are huge! I've always been famous for having great cleavage, and prior to my pregnancy, I'd say I had the perfect rack: 34DD. Well, now things are just ridiculous. I bought a new bra over the weekend (after my size didn't come in the store) from an awesome nursing bra company Bravado (expensive, but the best in the biz) in my new size. Are you ready for it? Sit down. It's ridiculous: 36G. What?!

Fear - I was afraid in the early pregnancy, and then it became a cute idea and exciting and mildly terrifying. Now, I'm realistic and scared - and the birth is so close that it seems reasonable to be scared!

Doctor's Appointment: I get the week off! I did so well that I can have a week to myself. Next week begins my weekly appointments (for real) and internal checks. I am hoping for nothing too crazy. I'm not ready yet for a baby!!

Movement: He's been moving a lot more lately. He's huge. I can feel him from my ribs to my pelvis. Often when I am sitting, I can feel some serious movement in my pelvis, often he'll push against my bladder. His feet move around, and I love feeling it. My favorite is when he sticks his butt out.

Gender: Boy. And we still don't know the name.

Best Moment of the Week: Finding out that my swelling isn't bad - that it's more than most pregnant women, but it's not coming with excessive weight gain, high blood pressure or protein in my urine. Things are good. Whew.

What I'm Looking Forward To: This weekend of relaxing. I have no plans, only relaxing on the docket.

What I've Got for Baby: This week, I bought a blood pressure machine. It's more for me than for baby, but if the blood pressure is too high, I have to go straight to the hospital. It's so comforting to see that my blood pressure is great. Also, we picked a pediatrician and did a hospital tour. Baby also got a head start on bedtime stories thanks to Bryan's reading of Lemony Snicket.

What I've Learned This Week: Nurses don't like birth plans. Even though the internet loves to recommend them, the nurses at the hospital I will deliver say they laugh at any mom who comes in with one and joke to each other that it will end in a c-section.

They tell me this as I'm holding a printed version of mine...which I sneakily folded in half and threw into my purse saying, "Oh, yes, that's so ridiculous, those moms with birth plans."

I will share my plan with Bryan, so he can be in the know and help make sure things go as best as they can. I want the drugs, I want to try lots of positions and I want my baby on me immediately after birth. Other than that, let's do it how it happens.