Stupidity.

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
Benjamin Franklin

My Dad Blogs, Too!

My dad is one of my favorite people. He's hilarious, super cool and killer at choosing restaurants. He also is a worship pastor at the church I was raised in, and he's finishing up his Music Performance degree from the University of Central Florida. One of his classes required him to create a personal website for promotion. I told him to add a blog, and he did.


Here's what life is like for my dad, the worshop pastor and funnyman, David Mander:
TODAY I BECAME AN ORGAN DONOR
We have had an organ in our church since I came there with my family nearly 16 years ago. We also had a Grand Piano but that is another story. The organ was played at the early service by an elderly man who went to the early service. I used to think he was kind of a quirky man and then I went to his home one day for a church party. In his home he had not one, but two organs. IN HIS HOME. Now I thought that was a bit strange, especially when one of them was a true pipe organ, complete with a set of very loud pipes in the living room. The Music Minister before me was an outstanding musician, a pianist especially. He would play the organ on many Sundays. Since I took over as Music Minister or Worship Pastor, or whatever title works for you, I have not played the organ in a service. We have had a few fill-in players but mostly it collected dust. So after 10 years I did some research and found our Rodgers 3 tier organ was built in 1963. With most instruments that would be great, but the new technology in organs is MIDI and digital interfaces it made our instrument obsolete. Not a problem I thought. We can list in on Craig’s List and sell it for $500. Not the case. Instead, I had a Hatian Pastor with a strong French accent call me to inquire about the organ. He told me they were buying a new building and had nothing. He wanted a good deal. So, thanks to a generous church, we decided to give him the organ and speakers. He came today in a U-Haul truck and we sent it off. We also threw in the old sanctuary cross that used to hang in the church until we got a new one. The Hatian church was so pleased to have these things and he promised me a CD of his choir singing French/Creole praise and worship music. When I get his CD I will post a sample on this site.

Follow his blog here.

And I Still Love Him

Four years ago today, Bryan went for the kiss. And the rest is history.

Here's some of my favorite pictures of us throughout the years.
Big Bash, April 2006: The night after Bryan first kissed me.

Halloween, 2006

ABC Party, March 2007

Gainesville Improv Festival, January 2008

Our wedding, December 31, 2008

DSI Adventure Trip, June 2009

Disney Vacation, October 2009

Philadelphia Photoshoot, November 2009

South Carolina Visit, January 2010

Winter Snowpocalypse February 2010

Philadelphia Party, March 2010

Last weekend, April 2010

And since we've been together for four years now, I've made a list of four things I love about him.
1.) His face in pictures
2.) His constant desire for adventure
3.) His brilliant economic mind
4.) How devastatingly sexy he is

These four years have been incredible. Here's to many more!

Art: GoogleMaps

More of them found here.

Family

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.
Anthony Brandt

One of the great things about my marriage to Bryan is that we agree about what's important in life. We both put great emphasis on family. We find great importance in our parents, our sisters and our extended family. I'm lucky to have the ability to fly home for a weekend to celebrate the success of my sister.


This weekend, I'm heading to Orlando, Florida. I'm going to celebrate my younger sister Caralyn's graduation from college, in three years due to brilliance and perseverance. Caralyn's genius graduation is definitely reason to celebrate, but I'm also excited about seeing my baby cousin Jacob (7 months), my parents, my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. Not to mention: the beach, Jeremiah's Italian Ice and beautiful, sunny 80 degree weather.

Moving Tip

If you are moving somewhere far away (far enough that you cannot visit), become best friends with your realtor. Done. Ask for lots of pictures, of the outside, each room, close ups of appliances. Done.

MOST IMPORTANT: Get someone you know to visit it.

This saved me. I thought my realtor had found us the perfect house. It was big, modern, had a great yard/view, big windows and the price was good. Bryan's colleague visited the house with his wife. Their review of the home itself was the same as mine: awe of how great it is. But, they had two interesting points. One, it was a gravel road on a hill, so if an ice storm came (it's inevitable), we'd be stranded and possibly without power for awhile since the house is outside the town limits. Two, it's fifteen to twenty minutes from campus. Too far.

Once again, my dream house has slipped between my fingers. We're 0 for 2 on houses. Cross your fingers. I'm a month from moving!! We need a house!

5 Year Anniversary of N Crowd Comedy

Tonight, I, along with my husband and my friends, will be performing a very special show. So special, we're all dressing up. So special, we're getting (free) snacks for the audience. So special, we have an afterparty with a closed down bar and dancing. So special, we're all playing!

Come celebrate the N Crowd's 5 Year Anniversary Show at the Ruba. Buy your tickets here.

It will be a night to remember!

What's up with your Vagina?

In case you were following my vagina's adventure with Paraguard, here's an update. This month has been great for me. I feel a lot better, I've lost three pounds, and I had zero PMS or cramping. My period came right on time yesterday, and my body feels incredible. But, it's routine to see your doctor one full month later. I literally just got home from the doctor. It should have been a simple check up on the IUD.

Should have been. Within minutes of my doctor entering the room, she was looking up at me from between my legs with a look. A look that says something is wrong. In my head, I run through all the worst possibilities: she sees a baby, my vagina has run away, the IUD has rusted the inside of my cervix. WHAT IS IT!?! She says that my IUD has fallen almost out of my cervix and she can see it just through her duck clamp binoculars. She says she's never seen this before, and she leaves. For a long time. I'm trying to remain calm.

She returns with the same nervous look and tells me to follow her to the ultrasound room. I immediately know that I'm pregnant, and I'm terrified to see a tiny bean living inside of me. Hello, that was the opposite of what I wanted! She squirts some cold jelly on my stomach and rubs a wand and I, with as much fear as I am able to feel, search the screen for a tiny baby bean. She shows me the IUD and how it is mostly out of my cervix. She also answers my fear and tells me that there is no baby. But there could be if she doesn't fix this. Apparently, the IUD is ineffective if it isn't in place.

Thirty minutes later, my IUD is back in place, my cervix is sore (again) and my doctor doesn't look nervous anymore. She says my cervix is unusually small (so is my whole body, lady!) and that my lack of birthing children means it is difficult for the IUD to remain in place. I had to set up another appointment to see her and check on the position of my IUD. The day before we move. It better be in place! And there better be no baby Buckley in there!!

I am relieved and happy that my doctor was able to reinsert the IUD (free of charge). I hope that my experience does not scare you, or if it does, that you use this as a launching point to a discussion with your doctor. Every woman is different, and I am apparently the one in a hundred that faces difficulty with IUDs. This freak appointment caused Bryan and me to evaluate our baby plans, and we are still certain that we are not ready for babies. And we are still certain this is the right birth control for us. I'm hoping for a better visit May 27 and a better blog update.

As always, ladies feel free to discuss in the comments or shoot me an email AlyssaMBuckley at gmail dot com.

Promiscuous Women Cause Earthquakes

“Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”
— Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, a prayer leader in Tehran, as quoted in Iranian media [AP]

Wow, ladies. People truly believe this. How terribly sad.

Things That Make Me Feel Safe

well-lit areas
Bryan
the daytime
a place I know
places where friends hang out

Life

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Mary Oliver

Freedom from Chocolate

Last night, I finished off the last of the Robin's Eggs - which was the last of our Easter candy, so lovingly sent by my mother-in-law. I love chocolate, and I have never turned down a dessert when I've been offered. But let's get real: it's practically bikini season.


I have been working out three times a week, but I can't help but feel like my hard work at the YMCA is being sabotaged by those tiny candy eggs. Thankfully, we are entering a candy free period of the year. I can't think of any holidays in April, May, June, July, August or September where you celebrate with candy. I am homefree until Halloween. Hallelujah!


NOTE: My inlaws are coming to visit in a month, and my mother-in-law has requested two things. One: to eat lunch at my favorite chocolate restaurant Max Brennar's and Two: to visit the market in Philadelphia to buy some chocolate covered pretzels. Life is sweet.

Moving: Step #3

When you move, you no longer need a lot of the services you pay for when you do. Today, I'm calling all of my service providers to cancel service and/or alert them to my change of address.

My list includes:
Verizon Wireless
Comcast
Peco
State Farm
Water Company
YMCA
Netflix
magazines

Additionally, if you have friends that like to write letters or mail you things, alert them, too. Give them a stop date for mailing and be sure to leave a good forwarding address with your landlord and the US Postal Service.

Things I Do Well

making homemade macaroni and cheese
comedy improvisation
shopping for shoes
calling friends back
giving compliments
planning trips/vacations
editing videos
writing things by hand
remembering birthdays
making resumes
pleasing a boss
playing frisbee dog in Wii Sports Resort
creating tough passwords
preparing a home for a party
picking out adorable thank you cards
mailing adorable thank you cards
efficient road trips (gas, food and bathroom breaks all on the same break)
buying other people presents
Rockband drums on easy
chopping and dicing vegetables
keeping up to date on facebook
loving people
wearing heels
creating posters
cartwheels
having fun
editing documents
kicking ass

Lady Rights and Lady Freedom and Lady Porn

One of my dear friends Justin Scott has written a blog post about ladies! Justin is one of the nicest friends I have: he'd give you the shirt off his back, the money from his pocket and the food from his fridge if you needed it. He and his wife Erin have been longtime friends of Bryan and me, despite our entirely opposite idealogical differences. They are devout Christians, and we are raging intellectuals. But, we do have a few things in common: one, we have passion; two, we live our lives according to our beliefs; three, we respect and enjoy hearing different opinions.


In his post, he announces Iceland's recent unanimous passing of a law that makes it illegal for any Icelandic business to profit from the nudity of its employees. I won't rehash all his points because you can read them all here.

If you are interested in a well-written, anti-sex industry read, it's wonderful. What's more wonderful is that Justin, being a lover of opinions, has said, "I would encourage you to express whatever disagreement you might have in the comments on this post. I'm open (hopefully, as always) to changing my mind."

To my lady readers and my male readers who are fans of ladies, I encourage you to post your thoughts to Justin's blog. He will not only respect your opinion, but he will be sure to respond to it. I have posted my own comments (so many thoughts it had to be broken into two comments) to his blog as well. I talk about American history, Kantian philosophy and Superfreakonomics. I'd say it's worth reading.

100 Posts

This is my 100th thought from my lady brain.


Let it rain lady quotes!!

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
Margaret Thatcher

The more you act like a lady, the more he'll act like a gentleman.
Sydney Biddle Barrows

Dance, dance, dance little lady, Leave tomorrow behind.
Noel Coward

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty lady for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

You may be a princess or the richest woman in the world, but you cannot be more than a lady.
Jennie Churchill

Lady Tips: Dinnertime

My aunt told me that if I'm running late when it's my turn to make dinner, just set the table. That way my husband thinks he'll be eating any minute, so he doesn't start complaining, which buys me some time. It's a silly trick that sounds straight out of the 1950s, but I have to admit that I've tried it a few times and it works!

The Zombie Cannon

Bryan and I have quite the collection of zombie movies. We quite love them, actually. We've collected the best of zombie movies, and we've watched a bunch that haven't quite reached our standards (the Dawn of the Dead remake, White Zombie, Dead at Breakfast). The best of the best are included in what we affectionately call The Zombie Cannon.

The Zombie Cannon
Night of the Living Dead (the original)*
Dawn of the Dead (the seventies one)*
Shaun of the Dead*
28 Days Later**
28 Weeks Later**

*slow moving, unexplained zombie

**fast moving, virus zombie

It is with great pride, we induct Zombieland (2009)** to the Cannon. It's clever and funny. The movie focuses on a world inhabited by zombies: the outbreak has come and conquered already.

There are only four characters, each of them kickass: a twinkie obsessed tough guy, a rule-loving lanky guy, a badass chick (who is terrible with vehicles) and the seemingly innocent little girl who always turns the tables. The main character sets out the rules he lives by (#2 always double tap, #3 beware of bathrooms, #17 don't be a hero) and sticks to it for the whole movie. The zombies are creepy and scary and they transform slowly. The fight scenes are great and the weapons are pretty cool. The relationships and friendships and enemy-ships are hilarious and filled with great commentary on modern society. There's even a guest appearance of Bill Murray (hilarious).

Old School: Places to Hide a Dead Body

As long as I've known Bryan, he has always had a hilarious best friend named Jason. If there's anything the two of them do really well, it's doing things together. Especially things that are funny. And most especially on film.

Let me take you back to the summer of 2007. Two men. One camera. I present to you Places To Hide a Dead Body:

Moving: Step #2

Get your supplies.

You've rid yourself of the clothes, books and kitchenware you don't need. Perfect to start packing. But wait! You need some things. Having forgotten several of these things a few times myself, this list is practical and inclusive. If I have forgotten anything, let me know in the comments.

SHOPPING/FIND-ME LIST
boxes: you need big (about ten), small (not too many of these), medium (lots of medium). Always buy more than you need. You will need more than you think.
packing tape: clear is great, but anything works. It has to be strong because you'll be taping the bottom of boxes carrying heavy things.
sharpies: I like the ones with the chisel tip because it writes thick which is helpful when we are staring into the moving truck wondering which box to grab next. Buy a few. I promise you'll lose at least one.
bubblewrap: If you have anything fragile (plates, glasses, decorations, etc), you'll want to protect it from your own clumsy moves. Like boxes, you always want more than you bought, so buy a lot initially. You can always return it if you keep the receipt and open as you go.
dolly: Moving four boxes is way easy with this. Also, you can prop a couch, a table or a mattress for easier moving. We bought a heavy duty (read: can handle a couch) dolly from Home Depot for $25. It was way worth it.
trash bags: You'll be throwing away things, but these bags are really great for big blankets, pillows and towels (why use a box!).
envelope for receipts: Moving expenses are tax deductible. Also, if your company is moving you, they might need receipts for accurate reimbursements. Plus, it's good to keep track of these costs because they can spiral out of budget fast.
cleaning supplies: You'll be cleaning everything from fridges to floors to carpets. Make sure you've got the supplies. A few bucks spent on cleaning supplies could mean saving you a hundred dollars from your security deposit.

Next up: List of Lists to Make

Uncertainty and Creativity.

The future is uncertain, but this uncertainty is at the very heart of human creativity.
Ilya Prigogine

The Future of Our World

We cannot yet predict the future, but we can certainly investigate some indicators. Technology will advance. Politics will change. The world will grow. And I'm not sure how these will affect the future. One thing I'm certain of is that our future is our youth. My generation will soon become the majority of the working class, of the technological leaders, of the CEOs of companies, of the politicians in Washington, the leaders of the future.

My generation is the generation who grew up with microwaves, color televisions and the internet. We can vividly remember being in school when the World Trade Centers were hit. We have always been comfortable with gay characters on television. We searched for the right college online. Consider us in ten to twenty years when we have mostly pushed out Generation X, when they have mostly retired.

And now, consider the generation right behind me, the ones still in high school. They were born in the 1990s. GSP satellite navigation has always been around. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled bottles.

And a good group of them can see past the idea of toleration, to focus on love.


Also, related video: a two year old can intuitively work an iPad. What could the same toddlers create in their twenties for technology.

Now, think about our future.

Tell me.

Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself. No matter what corruption he’s taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all enjoyment… It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer - because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.

- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Moving: Step #1

Get rid of things you don't need. Better yet: if you haven't used it in a year, give it away or throw it away.

1.) Start with your closet. The things hung in the very back and the things at the very bottom of your piles are probably the things you never use. Pull them out. If they're nice, mail them to your sisters. If they're still in good condition, donate them.
2.) Hit your kitchen. There are dishes, containers and utensils that never get used. You know the ones: the spatula that is so weak that it can't even handle a pancake - toss it into your recycling. Many Goodwill stores will accept kitchen items.
3.) Check out your bookshelf. Why are you keeping so many books? Do you want to read them? Do you want to impress people? Do you have space for all of them? Loose all the books that won't impress people (basically all the books you have) and any books you wouldn't want to read again. Someone might want them. See if your local schools need library donations; if they do, donate there first. Donate the rest to Goodwill (or friends that might like them).

That should give you a good start. No use in moving things you don't even want.

I'm anti-garage sales for myself, mostly because I don't want to give up an afternoon to sit outside and haggle with neighbors over things that aren't worth anything, but I suppose you could hold a garage sale if you don't value your Saturday afternoons and you like making $10-$20, and still have to take stuff to Goodwill.

Inspire.

"The real you is not a puppet which life pushes around. The real deep down you is the whole universe."
-Alan Watts

My friend quoted this to me. How's that for inspiring?

Classic Easter Video

I love this video. Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

I love holidays: the decorations, the celebration, the food, the gifts, the family. I love to celebrate Easter. This year was a good year for me. Not only did I get a new dress yesterday, but we stayed up and watched Harvey (a rabbit movie) until it was midnight. We ate chocolate rabbits, robin eggs and milky way eggs that my mother in law sent us. We nibbled on the bowl of jelly beans and played our new Wii game from the Rayman Rabbids collection: Rabbids Go Home (totes recommend this one) - thanks, Easter Bunny!

My favorite tradition of Easter comes from the first Easter I spent with Bryan, my then boyfriend. We made Rice Krispie treats. I only make them at Easter, and man are they delicious. Especially if they are still a little warm and gooey. The ingredients are cheap ($3) and the recipe is easy ( 3 TBL butter, 6 cups cereal, 1 bag of mini marshmallows: melt butter, melt marshmallows, mix in cereal). If you're looking for a new Easter tradition - or just a yummy snack from this week, I recommend Easter krispie treats.

It's the start of spring, and I bet it's beautiful out. Go outside, love somebody and get pumped for a new season.

Reality hits.

A friend of mine was telling me how incredible it is that I have already lived in four states (moving to my fifth) before I have even turned 23. When she pointed it out, I realized how different my life is than my friends. I married young, moved every year and maintained friendships from each place. My girlfriends and I talk a lot about relationships and men and marriage, but we never talk about moving.

Everyone has to move. At some point in life, you have to pack up your place and move to a new place. Having experienced moving to a new place on my own five times, I will be blogging through my sixth move. I've learned so many things with each move, and by the time we get to Oklahoma, I'll be a pro.

Current Move Countdown: 55 days

Magical Movery Tour

So you've heard the news: the Buckleys are moving. And we're moving for "semi good." This is the summer of fun, summer of friends, summer of east coast love.

This may be the only time we see this many of our friends in this quick of a succession. We're young, we're crazy and we love our friends, so we're doing it! Figure out when we'll be in YOUR city and clear your schedule. Let's get real, y'all.



Advanced ticket sales are through my email. I already have dinners and brunches and sleepovers planned. Get yours today!

APRIL FOOLS!

Watch yourself today.

Here's some of my favorite pranks of all time:
[WORLD]
The BBC television programme Panorama ran a famous hoax in 1957, showing Italians harvesting spaghetti from trees. They had claimed that the despised pest, the spaghetti weevil, had been eradicated. A large number of people contacted the BBC wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees. It was, in fact, filmed in St Albans.

[USA]
In 1985, the L.A. Weekly printed an entire page of fake things to do on April Fools' Day, by which hundreds of people were fooled.

[INTERNET]
The couple that pranks together, stays together.

Hilarious.

Happy fools day, friends.