Ta Da

Well, it's minutes before the work day is complete, and I've done it. I've finished everything that needed to be done before departing. (I talk about it here on myblog on the road)

Tonight, I'm picking up Bryan's favorite pizza pie from the local Chicken Palace: Sam & Ella's. Then my super smart Dr. Buckley will go teach his night class until 8:30pm. By the time he gets home, he'll be able to eat the chocolate cake with chocolate frosting that I will make for him during the 3 hour class.

We're skipping improv practice tonight to enjoy one last night before my 8 day trip abroad. I've got a bottle of wine and a 6-pack of Shiner Bock with our names on it.

Oh, and a little suprise will be arriving sometime around 10pm. No, it's not a hooker. But yes, I did pay for it, and I'm totes counting it as my birthday present for Bryan's big 30th. Watch facebook tonight: you'll see.

My Husby

My favorite person is the world is celebrating his birthday today.

For Bryan's 30th Birthday, I give you:

30 Reasons To Love Dr. Bryan Buckley1) His face. It's cute and it makes crazy faces.
2) He started the comedy troupe MTS, created what has become one of Clemson's best student organizations.
3) He knows things. Like facts and economics and theories.
4) He is hilarious.
5) He is pretty hot. This man looks good.
6) He loves me. That's pretty awesome.
7) His favorite shows on tv are the cool ones: Community, Modern Family, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
8) He likes weird tv shows like Venture Brothers, Spoungebob Squarepants, and Phineas and Ferb.
9) He gets sweet jobs where they pay him.
10) He has been to Disney World more than 100 times.
11) He can quote all three original Star Wars movies the whole way through.
12) He spells his name with a Y instead of a stupid I.
13) He won a World Championship in high school.
14) He'll patiently explain the same thing over and over until you get it.
15) He can speak country, hillbilly, city and gibberish.
16) He drives a car with windows that are held up by suction cups.
17) His shoe size is 11 (heh heh).
18) He is an anarchist.
19) He loves money, coins and the economy.
20) If he's the least bit tired, he'll take that as an opportunity to down an energy drink or two.
21) He's started and directed two college teams within one decade.
22) He can cook the most amazing fajitas.
23) He's super smart.
24) He is very tall, 6'2" without shoes.

25) He likes unusual things like board games that people don't own.
26) He has an obsession with sweet socks.
27) He is the nicest person I've ever met.
28) He hates being outside. Camping is way out.

29) He reads cool books and then talks about them.
30) He's unique: he's Bryan effing Buckley.

I love you, babe. Happy birthday!

Initiate Panic Mode

I leave for Viet Nam in less than 48 hours. Currently, the copier is printing off 300 cover sheets for my application packets, my student worker is counting handbooks, the printer is printing more inserts and my desk is a wreckage of papers, promo materials and folders.

I'm not sure how I will ever complete everything on my To Do list. Also, in thirty minutes, a representative is coming to meet with me and spend the day at the office. Say goodbye to my ability to get my work done!

Tomorrow is Bryan's 30th birthday. Yes.

Then, Friday morning at 4am, he will drive me to the airport and send me on my international trip not to see me again until the following Saturday. What the heck, man.

I'm feeling the pressure. AHHHHHHHHHH!

Life and Such

Blog, I don't know what to tell you. Bryan snapped this picture of me this weekend, and I thought I was smiling. I suppose I am, but it's not a real smile. It's a forced smile. It's a I-can't-stop-thinking-about-this smile. It's pain.

I'm hurting. I'm scared. I'm not sure. I'm in need of a hug or two or forty.

I hate this. I hate how unpredictable this is. I hate how unstoppable this is. I hate how I can't talk about it. I hate how it makes me feel. I hate how I can fix it. I hate how it's hurting family.

I can't focus. I can't understand. I can't believe.

What? Why? When?

I spent a weekend with family, and it was good, it was bad, it was sad, it was happy, it was awkward, it was good.

We said a lot of things we needed to say. We heard a lot of what we needed to hear. We shared some of our new intentions, our new hopes, our new plans, and I'm not sure how much weight I will attribute to them, but I am certain that my perspective has shifted.

Life has no guarantees. Life has no easy roads. Life has no bandaids. Life has no apologies. Life is and isn't.

Here we go again...

I've found solace in running. I can't be bothered, I can push myself, I can hurt my legs, I can make it up the hills, I can complete something, I can conquer it. Yesterday, I tried to run three miles again, and after half a mile, I wanted to die. So much for conquering...I made it 1.5 miles before I gave up and collapsed in Bryan's arms.


I'm doing well at work. My brochure was discussed by our new partner as "the best brochure ever" and my ad campaign has been called "lovely." Well, I'll be. Today, I awarded a scholarship to another partner from China.

A friend of a friend is staying with us at our house tonight. I don't mind guests, in fact, I love them. It's just odd to have a stranger in the house. At least it's a cool stranger.

This weekend, we're flying to visit family. It will be tough, but it is important. I don't think there's a better way to spend $800 than to be with family in a time of need. My heart is already breaking. I am not packing mascara.

Oh, and I still don't know what will happen or what we're planning to do. It's all confusing and scary and unpredictable. I just hope that this time next year, I'm happy, healthy and away from Oklahoma.

Pictures

Before we learned the news, we had a dinner party for a guest from China. I made my classic American "company dinner" which includes my mother's macaroni & cheese, sweet pulled pork, coleslaw and apple pie. My friend and Chinese instructor says my Chinese calligraphy is better than her husband's.


We played some Rock Band, and Bryan serenaded me.


Bryan hosted the college improv show. The show was not great. It was their first bad show, and it happens.



We hosted and headlined a show in OKC on Saturday night. We were not feeling the short form, so we did some long form. Our brains had a hard time avoiding some initiations, and it was tough to improvise. It was a good show, not great.


Tonight, we're talking to the current president about letting him take on more coaching responsibilities. I'm thankful for the distraction of work and improv.

Levity.

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”

"Some people care too much. I think it's called love."

"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."

A. A. Milne

Comedy and Tragedy

My life has taken a tragic turn.

At the same time, my life has exploded with comedy.

It's a very odd position. Comedy and tragedy.

Without comedy, I can say that my life wouldn't be as great. With comedy, Bryan and I can team up for a common goal (making people laugh) and have a great time. It's the perfect escape, the perfect therapy, the perfect distraction.

Last night, we cast 8 new college students to the team we coach. They were hilarious. And then we ran the show, and they did the best Henry I've ever seen. Absolutely perfect - great growth, hilarious characters, character arches, climax of the piece, perfect blackout line. Bryan and I couldn't believe it: our kids were brilliant. And we were able to enjoy a very funny show together.

I'm not sure if it's healthy to go from extreme lows to extreme highs, but that's what's happening. I'm okay with it. Mostly, because I have to be.

Without improv, this would suck even harder. Thank Del for Improv. (TDFI)

Shaky Ground

Apologies if I frightened anyone. I received a few facebook messages about my last post, and I appreciate it, ladies.

I'm not sure what I should say or what I'm supposed to say or what I want to say.

Life has not always been so unpredictable for me. Then all of a sudden it was.

All of a sudden, the plans we've laid have been ripped apart. The way I thought things were going to happen, aren't.

Fuck.

So what is happening? Life. Fucking life. It's unfair, it's unreasonable, it's uncontrollable, it's inevitable.

Why? How? I don't know. Even if I did, it wouldn't change anything.

So what now? What the fuck am I supposed to do? Do I change my plans? Do I abandon all plans? Do I rearrange the order of my plans? What plans matter? I just don't have the answers. I'm asking myself these questions over and over again. What's important? Why? Is it more important than this? Or that? Why? Is that right? Is it selfish? Is it wrong? Is it sad? Is that even a real reason? I just don't know.

I don't fucking know, okay? Is that okay? To know nothing? To have no response, no answers, no ideas on how to proceed? I don't know.

What I do know is that I have Bryan. I love him dearly. We have each other, and without words, without actions, through tears and hugs, we have each other.

Life

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley."Robert Burns

I didn't promise you a rose garden.
Warren Buckley

If you pray, pray for my family.

Improv Makes Me Happy

This week is the busiest week of the fall so far. My September and October are both incredibly full. I am not sure how I will survive. #JillianMichaelsworkoutsandDrPepper

Last night, the NSU comedy team had auditions. Last year, 11 people came and Bryan and I cast them all. This year, we had 19 come. The talent was suprising. It reminded me of MTS - not MTS of the early years (I wasn't there), but when I auditioned. Lots of guys, only three girls. We called back 11, and we'll see the talent on Thursday.


Tonight is my only night alone with Bryan this week. You can bet we'll be up in the gym, then making Bryan's spicy tortellini, then doing what we do best: watching tv and talking about comedy.

Tomorrow, callbacks will happen. It will be really tough to choose just 5-6 of the 11, but I know that whoever the team chooses, it will be a great cast. I'm happy with all of the ones we called back. I could've cast all of them.

Friday is the NSU comedy team's first show. The five all stars will be performing with Bryan hosting. Then at the late night show, I'm debuting a new team with two guys called Macaroni. Clearly, we're children improvisers.

Saturday night, Bryan and I are hosting and headlining the 8pm show in OKC at the Ghostlight Theatre. We're doing our short form show again (because Tahlequah was a weird audience) for a real improv audience. Also, I hope to get someone who can actually record the show (because people in Tahlequah can't, apparently).

Sunday, we're hosting the newbies and the allstars at our house for dinner, bonding and website pictures.


It's gonna be a hilarious week, and my heart is happy.

College Colors Day

My office is great. Today is College Colors Day, and we dressed up to win a prize from the university by being one of the first ten offices to post on facebook. We were number 3. I love my girls. Note: I'm the only American in the picture.

Science is Real, kids!