Monday Mind Dump

I had the most incredible weekend. One of the best in awhile!

Friday evening, our students performed the last comedy show of the year with a fabulous improv mainstage show where our graduating senior guessed all 5 crazy things with nearly two minutes left. They performed their first sketch show, and it went beautifully (minus the awkward part where someone forgot the last line, but they improvised and recovered so I could black them out). We were so proud.

Saturday, we slept in, threw some clothes in a suitcase and ran away to Tulsa for a staycation. We had a delicious lunch at PF Changs (finally using our gift cards from Christmas), peeked at the overpriced adorable things at Pottery Barn Kids and bought gifts for each other at Banana Republic. I had my massage with Elisa, and it was glorious! She remembered me based on "how hot your back is" - apparently, my circulation is very good and because of me and the baby, the blood in my back makes me very hot to touch. Cool?

We walked around the mall, picked up a cute cardigan on sale for the baby, split a pretzel and just held hands as we window shopped. We've been doing this together for six years now. Weird. Then, Bryan got to pick the movie we saw: The Hunger Games in imax. He's read the book; I haven't. It was a great movie, but I'm not sure I love the story (kids killing kids: awful!) or the guy named Gale (what a lame name - not much better than Peeta).

We did our traditional Melting Pot anniversary dinner and they sat us in a corner booth, tucked far away from everyone else and we were hidden. It was so romantic. And for the first time, I wasn't too stuffed by dessert. In fact, I ate some of Bryan's entree! I was so hungry. It was the perfect pregnant dinner. And we ended with chocolate all over rice krispies, strawberries, cheesecake and brownies. We left the restaurant around 11:30 and drove to the aLoft hotel (which we love since staying there 3 years ago in Durham). It was so romantic!

We woke, had breakfast at Panera and then drove home to reality. Where our baby stroller/carseat was waiting for us and our house that needed cleaning.

On Sunday, we spent the evening at a local camp celebrating our improv team's success with awards, food and games. I played volleyball and probably shouldn't have. Where I dove (I know, I know, Bryan wanted to kill me) really hurts and where I hit the ball on my forearms is swollen and painful to the touch. Whoops. I guess I need to start acting pregnant. They had elections, and we're very pleased with the new board.



Today, I felt my first Who-Stole-My-Brain-and-Emotions feeling. I was angry and upset and nauseous and on the verge of tears over a series of things that wouldn't normally upset me. I hated it, and the more I felt like I wasn't myself, the more upset it made me. By the time lunch came, Bryan picked me up and he knew something was wrong with his crazy wife. Instead of doing peanut butter sandwiches at home, he took me to a panini place in town. He likes to remind me that I need to take it easy and remember that I'm pregnant and stop trying to do everything I used to do. After a panini and more than half a slice of cheesecake, I felt a lot better.

This week should be a relaxing week. And next week is my Florida vacation/baby shower which I have highlighted and circled on my calendar at work. I am counting down the days!! Lord knows I need some time with my sisters, my moms and away from Oklahoma. Also, can we talk about the baby nonstop? Then maybe I wouldn't forget that I'm pregnant.

Oh, baby, it's love.

It's Valentine's Day. I've said it before, I love a holiday about love. We even made a video about it two years ago.



I love love. I love flirting. I love holding hands, kissing, cuddling, whispering in Bryan's ear and of course, doing the love. This day really isn't that big of a deal unless we make it.

Instead of focusing on presents or cards or whatever else people think of, I take this day as an opportunity to treat Bryan like I did when we first started dating, with little surprises and waking him up with kisses and holding hands in the car and texting sweet nothings. It's hard to be romantic every day, and today's a perfect reset button.

Go on, love your person. Kiss 'em. Grab 'em. Bang 'em. Do all the lovey stuff you love.

This morning I was late to work because I spent thirty minutes just being with Bryan this morning. Who wants to get ready when you can cuddle with your love on Valentine's day? Today, we're meeting up for lunch, and wherever we go whether it's a steakhouse or Mexican or McDonald's, I know it will be romantic because I'm with my love.

And for the first time in weeks, I will be making a gourmet dinner (no spaghetti with sauce from a jar or Kraft Mac-n-Cheese or takeout). I will be serving my love homemade ravioli with homemade alfredo sauce and yummy homemade garlic bread with delicious chocolate melting cakes for dessert. I am already hungry thinking about it.

I couldn't ask for a better man, a sweeter husband or a more loving best friend with whom to spend today.



Happy Valentine's Day, loves!

Comedy Love

There are few other couples that I love more than Ben & Adrienne. Both are hilarious by themselves, but put them together, and you've got a comedy power couple.

I met Adrienne through our English courses, and I met Ben through Mock Turtle Soup. They were both pursuing other people when the idea of them together popped into heads. Ben asked me if Adrienne was seeing anyone, I checked. She wasn't. She wanted to. Ben wanted her. And from that conversation in the UC Chickfila, the rest was history. They had a lovely dating relationship, and I'm so excited for them to be married.

I would bet my marriage on their marriage. They're the cutest, most hilarious and the wedding I'm looking forward to more than any other. Check us out over the years:



The Rapscallion, Clemson, April 2008




Downtown Clemson, June 2008




Frankie's Fun Park, Greenville, September 2008

North Carolina after DSI Shows, November 2008

Disney World, December 2008 Gosh, I love her!

Morning after our wedding, December 2008

Christmas in Philly, 2010

Clemson Graduation, May 2011

Downtown Clemson, May 2011

Life lessons, May 2011

Clemson Homecoming, October 2011

English Majors, Clemson Homecoming, 2011

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I can't wait until I can post pictures of them in wedding attire. You know me and Bryan love to dress up, so we'll look great, but we can't possibly look as great as the Bride and Groom! Here's to my favorite other comedy couple and to a fabulous wedding! I can't wait, Ben and Adrienne!

Married Life

It's not always warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies, but sometimes it is. And then it's pretty awesome.

Buckley Magical Movery Tour

Although this was not initially planned as part of our road trip, we are hitting a special destination two weeks early!

STOP #1: White River Junction, Vermont
FRIEND: Erin Jenkins Smith and Matt Smith

Erin at our wedding, 2008 Meg, Bryan, me and Erin at her wedding, 2009

We are pumped to spend the weekend with them!

Magical Movery Tour

So you've heard the news: the Buckleys are moving. And we're moving for "semi good." This is the summer of fun, summer of friends, summer of east coast love.

This may be the only time we see this many of our friends in this quick of a succession. We're young, we're crazy and we love our friends, so we're doing it! Figure out when we'll be in YOUR city and clear your schedule. Let's get real, y'all.



Advanced ticket sales are through my email. I already have dinners and brunches and sleepovers planned. Get yours today!

Valentine's Day with an Economist

For the past four years, I've spent Valentine's Day with the same man. This man also happens to be an economist. Despite the stereotype that economists aren't romantics, he's done really well. On our first Valentine's Day, he showered me with flowers, a new shirt and a Japanese dinner. On our second Valentine's Day, he was going to propose the next month and didn't want me to think this was it. I got flowers and a cook-in-front of you dinner. On our third Valentine's Day, we were married and we continued the tradition of flowers and a dinner at a habachi Japanese steakhouse. I assumed the tradition would live on forever. I assumed each February 14th, I would wake up to a dozen beautiful pink roses and spend my evening dressed to the nines at an Asian restaurant.

Well, this Valentine's Day my Valentine has a PhD. This Valentine's Day my husband is a doctor of economics. This Valentine's Day my lover is as full-fledged an economist as you can get. And while I knew his economic expertise would impact our finances, our location and his job, I never considered its effect on my love life.

This year, Bryan said to me, "Alyssa, I love you, but I'm not buying you flowers this year."
"This is the only time of year you buy me flowers!" I pouted. Which is a mostly true statement if you leave out the rare instances of I'm-sorry flowers.
"I will buy you anything else. It just has to be a durable good."

And so, I'm at a loss. Partially because I think my husband hates flowers, but mostly because everything you receive on Valentine's Day is not durable: flowers, candy, chocolate, cards, dinner. What could Bryan possibly get for me?

Life on e-Zzzzzzzzzzz Street

After a crazy weekend of 4am bedtimes and 9am wakeups, I've been exhausted. Last night, we went to bed at 10:30 and just woke up. That's a total of nine hours of sleep. It feels as good as I thought it would. I'm definitely going to try again tonight.

For Better or For Fucked the Hell Up

I'm furious with religious people at the moment who continue to claim that gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of marriage. The institution of marriage is not itself sacred. Certainly, some marriages are sacred, but the institution of marriage is not sacred (anymore).


Let's talk about who can get married:
1.) A man and a woman who are truly in love
2.) A man and a woman who are in love and have had premarital sex
3.) A man and his virtual girlfriend
4.) A man and a woman in Vegas, knowing last names not required
5.) A man and a woman who have a friend who was ordained online
6.) A man and a woman who have continuous cohabitation otherwise known as Common Law Marriage (think of all the premarital sex)
7.) A man and his lady cousin (only in some states)
8.) A man and a lady friend of his who wants US residency
9.) A man needing assistance on his medical bills and a woman with great health benefits
10.) A man and a woman who just don't want to wait any longer to have sex
11.) A man and a woman who will surely get divorced (43-50% of marriages end in divorce)

I'd say the majority of those lack any sort of sanctity. Let's face it: marriage as an institution in America has been snatched by the secular world. Who wouldn't enjoy a legal life-long commitment to a (or in some cases, your favorite) person in the world - and enjoy all the wonderful benefits? Marriage is no longer just a religious commitment. Letting gays marry does not hurt a religious marriage any more than the divorced man worshipping in a congregation or any more than Tiger Woods and his soon-to-be ex-wife.

Because what makes a marriage important or true is the two people involved. It's relative. Surely, everyone can agree: There are some marriages with two individuals who are in love, who marry because they can't imagine spending the rest of their lives apart from each other. And then, there are some people who barely know each other and get married after winning a jackpot in Vegas (Vegas hands out 95,000 marriage certificates a year). There's definitely a difference.

I'm just fed up with religious people using the Bible as grounds for discrimination. This Jesus who tells you to hate on gay marriage probably would show more love than you are showing. And all this hatred for homosexual marriage seems really pointed. I'd like to see Christians get their shit together: if you're going after the sanctity of marriage, take a look at some other existing policies (see above). Because Christians aren't slamming them or even offering their Christian criticism from their high cross, I can't help but think they just hate gays. And that, my friend, is what we call discrimination. Not religion. And hopefully the courts will make this right, as they have for interracial couples.

Lessons from a Buckley Christmas

You can fry anything: apples, potatoes, ham, toast. If it's food, it can be fried.

Family history creates the present family. Without Bryan's granddad's hard work and perseverance, Joann would have never gone to college. Without Bryan's dad's offer in Greenville, Joann would have never left Kentucky. And Bryan would have never attended Clemson for the in state tuition. And then, how would I have met the love of my life?

Generosity. Generosity. Generosity. Never before had I seen more presents, more food, more family in one small home. It was beautiful.

Men drive on road trips. Because men don't complain and will endure the hard job for their lady. And ladies choose the restaurant.

Santa sometimes watches his weight and puts the cookies back in the fridge!

Not really lesson learned but reiterated: being married is awesome. Being a Buckley is awesome.

One Year!

Time flies when you're in love. I'm taking this opportunity to wish myself and my husband Bryan a Happy 1 Year Anniversary!


We've had a crazy first year. It began with our awesome wedding in Florida, two week honeymoon in the warm, warm Caribbean, and then we moved into our North Carolina apartment. We rocked out some comedy at DSi for a little while longer, performing on teams together and separately, doing shows every week. Then, we celebrated Bryan's triumph over all high education and watched him get that doctorate degree he'd worked so very hard for. And then, by the wonderfully hard work of Bryan, he landed a great teaching job and we relocated our lives to Philadelphia. This summer, we started from scratch in the friend, work, comedy and family departments - and within six months time, we've landed in a happy place in each of the categories.

We've learned that marriage is better than being engaged and a lot like dating. We've learned that trading chores is the best way for Alyssa to get out of laundry, dishes and the trash (of course, Bryan gets out of cleaning the bathrooms, cooking and organizing healthy meals). We've learned that you can have lots of sex - even if you're married. We've learned you have to share pretty much everything, including your big box of chocolate your boss gave you. We've learned that Bryan enjoys being slightly irritating and Alyssa enjoys popping out and scaring Bryan. We've learned that a kiss before work is the best way to start your day. We've learned that you shouldn't eat ice cream every night. We've learned that shopping on low blood sugar is disastrous for each other and the store clerks. We've learned to share, to love more deeply, to be more honest, to sing in front of each other, to wrestle on the bed without breaking anything, to speak each other's love language, to appreciate the other, and, most importantly, to realize the impact of our vows.

Here's to forever! To infinity and beyond!

Tips for the Love Boat

I'm subscribed to GoogleReader and one of my favorite feeds is Marriage Tips. Now, my single friends don't run - and my married friends, don't be scared. They are really just provacative assertions to make you think about your relationship. These tips advocate love and respect and patience - all of which are good for any loving relationship, especially marriage.

One I've been thinking about is:
Michelle Weiner-Davis coined the phrase "Stranger Standard" to remind us that sometimes married couples treat strangers with more courtesy and sensitivity than their spouse. Don't take each other for granted.

Often, we encounter strangers (or colleagues) more than our spouse since the work day can be longer than our leisure time at home. I'm not talking about work spouses - I'm talking about friendly relationships in the office, at restaurants and other places you interact with acquaintances. We're always respectful to those we work with, making lunch dates around their schedules, listening to their drama from their kids, offering advice on the new project, helping a friend move. Why can't we reciprocate kindness like this with our spouses?

It's easy. And it's all about choice. I'm a firm believer in being a good wife AND a good girlfriend. I'm dependable, in it for life and all about sharing everything with Bryan as his wife. But as a good girlfriend, I'm there to talk about the little things, arrange dates and surprise him with sweet things. (Note: a good wife can do the aforementioned gf things but most women quit when they get married.)

Marriage has become, through the eyes of many, a horrible bore, a routine chore, with love no more (I couldn't resist). We fell in love with this person. We had stomach butterflies. We spent days thinking of how we might be able to make them even happier. We listened to all their silly stories - and eagerly awaited the next. We drove hours to visit. We have never felt the same fire when you kissed anyone else. We would do anything for this person. And we vowed that we would. I don't get it when we think loving is a chore. Or that marriage is all about having-to.

Marriage is a continuation of the love we found earlier. Marriage is different, but marriage should be better. And for me, marriage has been the best form I've love I've found. I love my husband, and I'll never take him for granted. It's little things: "Thank you for doing all the dishes - work was hard today" or "I'm really glad you could meet me for lunch. I love hanging out with you!" or just a simple "I'm the luckiest person because you picked me." That's the love. You have to have that love before you get married or you wouldn't get married. Remember that love. It's a sweet love, and it's a good love. And, let's be honest, it's your last love - so make it beautiful.

Photo by Erin Scott Photography

Wedded Bliss

There is nothing more admirable than two people seeing eye-to-eye keeping house as man and wife, confounding their enemies, and delighting their friends.

Homer, 9th century BC

I couldn't have said it better myself. I love the classics.