Silent but Steamy Badge

If my friends on Foursquare can earn badges like Player Please! and I'm on a Boat, I'm going to award myself a Silent but Steamy Badge.

How might one earn this badge? Getting to bone every day as quietly as possible while your inlaws are in town (for five days, four nights) visiting in an echoey, empty home.

What now, Foursquare?

Tell me.

Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself. No matter what corruption he’s taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all enjoyment… It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer - because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.

- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged