Brain Dump

Work is insanely busy, and with a recent fire of a student worker, I had to re-assign the China trip. Thankfully, we have students chomping at the bit to travel abroad.

I'm planning my first trip to Canada in almost twenty years. How can I be old enough to say something like that?

My baby is laughing! What? He's growing up and while most of the day he is entirely serious, I can make him laugh. It is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Speaking of babies, I'm going to the doctor - a real one! Not just a pregnancy doctor! I'm doing my consultation before the insertion of my IUD (my preferred method of birth control, y'all). No more babies for a little bit. Bradley is about all we can handle right now. Maybe later I'm blog about future baby plans.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand tomorrow's Friday.

Lady Gets Scared

Something scary happened. It's over, and it's not scary anymore, and I wouldn't blog about it except that I already blogged about it and said it was nothing to be scared of. In fact, I promoted it, I raved about it, and I loved it.
Let's talk about my IUD. Bryan and I made a formal decision to not have children for awhile. We'd been successful in not having children for four years at the time, and we wanted to use our insurance money for something less of a hassle than a pill, and we knew we didn't want kids anytime soon.

So I got the IUD. A month later, I had to have the doctor adjust it because it fell out of place. And then I got to thinking about moving to Oklahoma, and we had a busy summer of visiting friends and traveling for two months. Then we moved to Oklahoma and all of that happened, and I forgot about my little copper T-shaped baby-preventer.

Well, I shouldn't have. I saw a doctor two weeks ago for a regular check-up, and again, my cervix has expelled the IUD. She asks if I noticed anything different, and I hadn't. She says she can't tell how long it's been out of place, but that it was definitely out of place and definitely not effective. Crap.

So there goes my security in my "awesome" birth control. According to my doctor, my cervix is unusually small (so is my whole body, lady!) and that my lack of birthing children means it is difficult for the IUD to remain in place. Great. There goes that.

Well, my doctor sent me over to the hospital to get an ultrasound and gave me a pregnancy test. I was going back to the doctor the next day to have the IUD removed and to learn the results of the test. What day was this? Oh, the day before my 5 year anniversary with Bryan. So I wake up on our anniversary and spend the day not knowing if I'm pregnant or if we're still just us for a few years. Bryan is calm, and he tells me that no matter what we'll be fine, that we'll be happy. We eat a very serious lunch that day, talking about what we would do if we learned we were about to be parents, what we would do if we weren't.

Two hours before my anniversary dinner, I see my doctor for the last appointment of the day. I'm freaking out. She tells me again that I have a tiny cervix and that I'm not pregnant. Whew! I just felt a huge pressure lifted off of me. I don't remember much of what the doctor said, but she handed me a prescription for The Pill and a free pack to get started now.

Pregnancy avoided. Thank the lordy lord! We will not have a baby Buckley joining us anytime soon. I'm back on The Pill. I expect some mood swings, some weight gain and a libido increase (watch out). But I won't be expecting a child, so I'm okay with all of this.

I felt like I had to share my story with you ladies since I had so positively reviewed it. I really think it's a good idea, but if you have a small cervix or have not had children, it might not be the best form of birth control for you. Again, talk to your doctor, read as much as you can about it. It didn't work for me. Please feel free to email me if you don't feel comfortable asking questions here.

Update on my IUD

The day we left Philadelphia, I visited my doctor to check on my IUD. Last month, I had a problem and the copper IUD fell out. The month before that, it was painfully inserted.

So far, it might seem like my experience with the IUD has been rough. Certainly, the insertion was painful. Certainly, it was scary to have the IUD fall. And certainly, those two are not great things.

Now that the hard part is over, I can sow. Until Bryan and I decide that pooping, drooling babies are ready to be part of our family, we're set. It's been really nice not to have to set my phone alarm to remember to take my pill. Or to worry about whether or not I'm pregnant each month. Even more, my cramps have severely lessened, my libido is way up, and my PMS is almost nonexistent. My body without hormones is truly my body - and I like it that way.

The next portion of my journey with an IUD will be the same: living life with lots of sex and no pregnancies. If there is a problem, I'll let you ladies know. When we decide to produce a Buckley baby, I'll let you know. Until then, I recommend the IUD for ladies in committed monogamous relationships who aren't interested in getting pregnant anytime in the next three (or more) years.

Especially if you are living out of a suitcase and traveling all summer. It's mighty hard to stock up on birth control pills.

What's up with your Vagina?

In case you were following my vagina's adventure with Paraguard, here's an update. This month has been great for me. I feel a lot better, I've lost three pounds, and I had zero PMS or cramping. My period came right on time yesterday, and my body feels incredible. But, it's routine to see your doctor one full month later. I literally just got home from the doctor. It should have been a simple check up on the IUD.

Should have been. Within minutes of my doctor entering the room, she was looking up at me from between my legs with a look. A look that says something is wrong. In my head, I run through all the worst possibilities: she sees a baby, my vagina has run away, the IUD has rusted the inside of my cervix. WHAT IS IT!?! She says that my IUD has fallen almost out of my cervix and she can see it just through her duck clamp binoculars. She says she's never seen this before, and she leaves. For a long time. I'm trying to remain calm.

She returns with the same nervous look and tells me to follow her to the ultrasound room. I immediately know that I'm pregnant, and I'm terrified to see a tiny bean living inside of me. Hello, that was the opposite of what I wanted! She squirts some cold jelly on my stomach and rubs a wand and I, with as much fear as I am able to feel, search the screen for a tiny baby bean. She shows me the IUD and how it is mostly out of my cervix. She also answers my fear and tells me that there is no baby. But there could be if she doesn't fix this. Apparently, the IUD is ineffective if it isn't in place.

Thirty minutes later, my IUD is back in place, my cervix is sore (again) and my doctor doesn't look nervous anymore. She says my cervix is unusually small (so is my whole body, lady!) and that my lack of birthing children means it is difficult for the IUD to remain in place. I had to set up another appointment to see her and check on the position of my IUD. The day before we move. It better be in place! And there better be no baby Buckley in there!!

I am relieved and happy that my doctor was able to reinsert the IUD (free of charge). I hope that my experience does not scare you, or if it does, that you use this as a launching point to a discussion with your doctor. Every woman is different, and I am apparently the one in a hundred that faces difficulty with IUDs. This freak appointment caused Bryan and me to evaluate our baby plans, and we are still certain that we are not ready for babies. And we are still certain this is the right birth control for us. I'm hoping for a better visit May 27 and a better blog update.

As always, ladies feel free to discuss in the comments or shoot me an email AlyssaMBuckley at gmail dot com.

The Formal Decision To Not Have Babies

We always told our friend Jason that if we got pregnant, he should know it was an accident and that we wouldn't be happy, even if we faked it for everyone we knew. Horrible, I know, but it's true. Like many women I know, I was an adamant Pill popper as means to prevent pregnancy. I pick up my prescription at Target for $10, set my daily phone alarm for 9:30 and swallow the hormones each evening. I took the Pill for five years. It was cheap, easy to acquire and effective.

This Thursday, I laid on the metal bed, feet in stirups that were covered in oven mitts and my doctor double checking how deep my cervix was. Seconds later, I felt a horrible sharp pain deep inside me, like a tiny fairy had somehow gotten inside my vagina with a humongous sword and decided to stab my lady part. I'm not sure if it hurt so bad because I'm used to my vagina feeling pleasure or if because I haven't had children and my cervix is too tight or if because I'm a baby, but I jumped right off that table, yelping and crying. It hurt so bad that I felt dizzy and before I could alert the doctor, I fainted. When I awoke, there was no more pain and I smiled, a little embarrassed but mostly because I knew that with this IUD, I wouldn't be getting pregnant until I wanted to be getting pregnant.

For my ladies, I chose the Paraguard option, a copper t-shaped little thing, for the lack of hormones and because a writer from The Frisky documented her insertion and her (great) experience. And as of that afternoon, I am unable to get pregnant until the doctor removes it. It lasts for twelve years, but you can take it out at any time. My total out of pocket cost: $125 and insurance took care of the rest ($600). The afternoon following the insertion was pretty bad, sharp cramping and bouts of pain so bad that I cried. I recommend a movie, lots of iBuprofen and getting to bed early.

But that's all the bad things I can say. I woke up the morning after the insertion feeling great. So great actually that I spent 30 minutes doing my hair and did something funky with my makeup. I felt sexy all day and wanted to bone as soon as my man got home. That's a big thing: I'm horny all the time now. I was pretty horny before, but now I'm unstoppable. It's also great because you don't have to remember to do anything! No more phone alarms, no more I-hope-I'm-not-pregnant months. Hassle free!

The most important good thing: When my man and I decide that we want to have children, we will remove the IUD and start trying to procreate. I love this part, partially because I'm a planner but mostly because I want to bring a child into the world when it's optimal. Imagine whatever that is for you. For me, I want to be living closer to family, I want to have travelled to Europe, I want to have a sweet house, I want to be older, wiser, stronger. Now is not a good time, and the next bunch of years will also not be good. Kids never go away. I still bother my parents and I bet you still bother yours.

We're still newlyweds, and we have big plans for the next few years - and they don't involve children. And when we want our plans to involve children, we'll make a formal decision to remove the IUD and have them. So there. Betcha weren't expecting that.

**Ladies, if you have questions about IUDs, ask in the comments or shoot me an email AlyssaMBuckley at gmail dot com.