Brain dump

We went to South Carolina last weekend. So much in less than forty eight hours. Four planes.

Lots of family time. Bryan's sister got engaged!!

Saw friends in Greenville. 

Tailgated in Clemson. 

Bradley in a Clemson jersey.

 Surprise murder mystery party for Bryan.

 Sweet family time.

I'm back to my new chapter. I am still not working, not looking. It's still fresh.

I'm learning to give up high expectations of projects. To be less ambitious. I mean, it sounds awful, but it might be good for me. Perhaps my goals should be smaller, more internal. What if I relaxed expectations so I could encounter, then react instead of expect, ecstatic or disappointed, react.

It was 85 degrees today. That's an absurd temperature for October.

My Chinese class is kicking my butt! I finally put in my time and studied. I am feeling better and I went through my flag cards until I recognize the character, pronunciation and definition. Feels good to learn.

I am still loving my time with Bradley. I am drinking this lemonade (when life gives you lemons), and I'm happy. New chapter: happiness.

This weeks accomplishments

Bradley

-Learned to find his hair, head, belly and (sometimes) nose

-learned to say moo when asked What's a Cow Say?; also Baaa for sheep

-Slept great this week, two naps, full nights.

-Ate a meat!! Sliced turkey.

-drank more than one cup of milk!

-Started playing games in the crib: pick me up, but then when I get close, fall back laying down and close eyes/put blanket over his head. 

-barks constantly (maybe not an accomplishment)

Alyssa

-Cooked a meal every night this week (Bryan's scores on dinner were 8, 7 and 9/10

-Hit the gym three times for 60 min+

-Mopped the floor

-Did my hair a different way everyday

-Started wearing makeup

-started a Vine account 

-Stayed up late with Bryan 

Family

-Family dinners every night (lower stress prep since I had all day to prepare)

-Late night hanging out as a couple

-Traded chores 

It's been a great week. Tonight, I talked to Bryan and told him about how much I'm enjoying being home (way more than I thought). He said he's surprised at how happier I seem. Truth: I am happy. 

I'm still not sure this is a long term path to happiness, but I can't think long term. I'm so focused on right now. I'm happy right now. 

Killin it at my new job

Ok. I'm having a great time at home. (Is it ok to say that?)

 I am LOVING my time with Bradley, with myself and with the house. At times when everyone is home, I am nicer, calmer and more prepared. I am more present when Bryan is home, more flirty and (I'm surprised) happier.

I was doing great in my job. I was in charge of a department, things were great, my calendar was organized, my staff was fabulous and everyone thought we were on top of it. We were. I was. 

This is the starkest contrast I've experienced. To go from a full 40+ hour work week with blazers and high heels and meetings and CC: emails and business lunches to go to constant parenting and jeans and flip flops (ok probably need to step it up a notch) and laundry and naps and peek a boo and teaching my baby to walk.

Both of them are awesome. I loved being a working mom. I am loving being a stay at home mom. I'm just living in the moment. 

Everyone keeps asking what my plans are. Will I apply for another job? Will I be a full time stay at home mom? For how long?

I don't know.

I made all these plans for my life and surely, much has not gone according to plan.* So, I think there is more preparation and practice and less planning. Be ready for anything. Bloom where I'm planted sort of thing.

So here I am, trying my best to soak up this new chapter. I'm not sure if it's my intentional appreciation for this time or if this time is just really, truly awesome. Either way, I am loving this.

Today, I dropped Bryan off for work, went to the gym, went grocery shopping, put Bradley down for a nap, cut up fruit and made lunch for the three of us,

 ate lunch with Bradley, went to Chinese class while Bryan ate lunch with Bradley, played with Legos, put Bradley down for another nap, played with my hair and makeup (whaaaaaat. I have been so lazy. Makeup and hair is fun!), 

cleaned the kitchen and then Bradley and I picked up Bryan. Dinner, playtime, bedtime, beer with Bryan.

So far, this is great. I have a full week ahead of me, and I'm planning to drop off some clothes donations, mop the kitchen, have a play date, and make dinner every night (besides tonight).

*marrying my true love from college is a winning part of the plan.

Is this real life?

Tomorrow begins my first full week at home. Last week was a special week with some weird scheduling. So this week is our first attempt at real life with me at home.

I'm excited. I can't wait to wear Toms and hang out with Bradley. He started walking (really walking, 6+ steps in a row), and I like to think it's because I'm home. He needed encouragement to walk. I mean, moms the best reason to walk somewhere. 

I'm testing this time out. I'm going to the gym Monday-Friday with another mom (free gym daycare). I'm doing chores and laundry and cooking dinner.

Also, my goal is to find a cute way to wear my hair.*

Cheers to a big week, and good luck to myself. I will need more patience, more organization and more creativity than I've needed in a little while, but I think I can do it. Here we go!

*Experiments during Bradley's naps. Successes and failures will be posted. 

First day of the new chapter

Wow. What a day. What an awesome day. What a busy day!

I had a great day with Bradley! I made a breakfast that included eggs. I drove Bryan to work and then Bradley and I went to the gym. Worked out for 90 minutes! 

Then went grocery shopping with Bradley. We had a blast in the empty store. We rocked out to music in the produce (he said pepper!!) and got a free cookie (which mom gets half) and remembered everything.

We got home and Bradley took a short morning nap. I decided it was the perfect time to scrub the kitchen. Like, get a rag and scrub the trash can cleaning. So that happened. And damn, my trash can looks awesome now. 

  We went to lunch with a friend from (where I used to) work. Great conversation, delicious fajitas and a baby determined to get out of his high chair. So it was a quick lunch. 

Back home for Bradley's big nap. I pondered whether to clean another room. But I was exhausted from making my trash can sparkle, so I napped. Oh. My. God. Naps! So wonderful.

Two and a half hours later (I know!), we got up, had a lovely snack of blueberries and cheddar, played with blocks and then picked up Bryan. It was just an awesome day.

New ideas:

-Clean a room a day

-Make a calendar of Bradley, dressed up in a month related outfit. CUTENESS!

Ok, that's it. Less than I thought when I typed up New Ideas: but hey. 

Lastly, here's what we wore today. To be honest, I dressed him first, but it was my new gap shirt so I wanted to wear it and didnt care.

My first week in my new chapter

Tomorrow is my first day of my new chapter. My last day at work was Friday, even though originally it was to be Wednesday. Long story, just as interesting as my quitting story. 

I have so much in my mind.

I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified of the chapter ahead of me. And of course, I spent the last two hours talking out "the plan" for this new chapter.

First, I made a list of ToDo during my time at home:

-go to a Mommy and Me class (if fun, repeat)

- go to the gym with my other friend who had a one year old boy AND utilize the daycare at the gym

-cook delicious and interesting dinners (goodbye spaghetti and takeout)

-read a book (title undetermined)

-sell some junk

-try to do art with Bradley 

-get Bradley to eat some meat that isn't hot dogs or sausage or bacon

-condense to only one purse

-eat more fruit

-take more baby pictures

-not watch the clock

I'm excited. I really am. A whole new thing. And this thing is my baby! My family! My home. It's now number one. I feel empowered, a blank slate and a whole new effort towards my personal life. 

Yahoooooooo!

Side note: Bryan and I had a state of the union chat tonight, and we've got two challenges. 1) Only 7 criticisms allowed all week (one of us uses too many...hmmm which one?) and 2) If it doesn't matter, don't say anything. 

And since both were directed at fixing issues, I added a third one: 3) Find the fun. With no job, I will need to refocus. Let me find the fun, find the moments.

This is a new chapter! Chapter Family.