Monday, July 30, 2012

our family update

4 day old Bradley
1 visit to the office
6 phone calls to the lactation specialist
4 Skype calls to grandparents
2 missed meals for Bryan and me
1 braums chocolate milkshake
1.5 hours of continuous sleep last night
2 bouquets of flowers
4 different prescriptions
1 grandparent staying with us

Life is so much the same just with a baby, less sleep, more tears and more "Why didn't the book cover this?!"

We are surviving. I am lucky to have Bryan who has been my hugest supporter, sweetest best friend and sexiest new dad. And my mom is currently on her way from the airport, and I can't wait to have my mom here.

I love the little guy so much. He's making me think, making me love, making me try, making me smile. I love him.

Cute pics:








Saturday, July 28, 2012

Pregnancy Update: 38 Weeks

How Big is Baby: pumpkin, 18 inches, 6-8 lbs
How Far Along: 38 Weeks

Weight Gain: 34 pounds. 1 pound gain this week. I did it. I stayed under 35 pounds!

Sleeping: I can't stay asleep. I'm awake thinking about the baby, about the room, about whether I should get up to pee or wait a little longer. And I'm snoring. It's not pretty.

Food Cravings: sweets like brownies, cookies, cake, pudding

Food Aversions: none

Symptoms: 
swollen feet - what else is new?
lack of appetite - I'll eat because I have to, but it's not a huge priority for me
gas - ugh

Doctor's Appointment: I have one today (Wednesday) at 1:30. After a seemingly regular checkup, she sent me straight to the hospital due to high blood pressure, protein in my urine and my swelling. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia where the only cure is delivery of the baby.  So off we went.

Movement: He's active. I know I'll miss this the most when I'm not pregnant.

Gender: Boy. Still no name. Deciding between a long list now that the top name is out.

Best Moment of the Week: presenting my report for the fall 2012 enrollment: I successfully recruited the largest cohort of new international students at NSU ever. Booyah.

What I'm Looking Forward to: seeing what our baby looks like!

What I Did/Got For Baby: We packed up our bags and put them in the car. Bryan installed the car seat in the car. We made a double batch of cheesecake ice cream (super important that I get calcium, you know?). We cleaned the whole house and started cleaning the garage.

What I Learned This Week: Life is crazy unpredictable!!

welcome Bradley

On Thursday, July 26 at 3:46pm, Bradley Douglas Buckley was born.



I couldn't believe what was happening, that my son was born, that the cute anonymous fetus that rolled around inside of me was out, that the little human Bryan and I created was in my arms.

He's so cute. He's actually cuter than I thought he would be. Bryan let me be the one to name him. It was a crazy moment when I saw him for the first time and said, I love you, Bradley.



And I do. At first, it was too surreal and I didn't quite believe that the little infant in front of me was our son. I didn't instantly connect. But after not sleeping the first night, just staying awake holding him and staring at him and talking to him, I fell in love.



These are all pictures from my phone, and this post is written on my phone. I've been writing this over the last two hours in between feeding and sharing him with Bryan.



My favorite thing about him has to be his hair. He's got a mohawk thing happening. I love it!

I'm also a huge fan of how much he loves me. Hell cry when the nurses take him away and stop when he's back in my arms. I think I am his favorite, and it makes my heart swell.

And his fingers. Those are so cute.

Bradley is a perfect mix of both me and Bryan. I can't see myself in him (except his facial expressions, those are totally me) or Bryan in him (except the upper lip). I can't wait to see his features develop.

I'm in love. And we are happy. Crazy, tired and learning lots, but so happy.

(more updates and pics to come)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

weekend

Yesterday we slept in and went to my midwife for my 37 weeks appointment. When we opened the door, we saw tons of boxes from last weekend's order!




Midwife says I look good, blood pressure was good, no protein in my urine, only worry is my feet. That I should continue to rest.

Okay...but everyone on Facebook is talking about batman! And we did watch the first two this week. So we drove to Tulsa to see the movie and go out to dinner.



The movie was good - not great. Lots of questions. And then I look down: my feet were huge! I could barely walk. So our dinner plans of PF Changs, we had a quick dinner at Fudruckers and hit the road back home.



We got home, popped in season two of community and tried to let my feet unswell. Not that successful, but I did pass out and woke up to Bryan carrying me to bed.

I guess all that sleep and resting has been good because I woke up energized!

I've put away all the baby stuff from yesterday's packages. I cleaned out the fridge and threw everything expired away. I cleaned out the freezer and made room for all the meals I want to make.

I scrubbed the counters, washed the dishes that had built up next to the sink, emptied the dishwasher and meal planned for the week. I wanted to sweep and mop but my feet were getting huge and my tummy started growling. So now I'm watching Chopped, laying on my left side and eating a breakfast bar.

Maybe this is nesting? Maybe we have a baby coming?!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Now and Then

I love my grandmother. Awhile back, I posted this photo of her from 1966.

She was nine months pregnant with her first born, my mom.


The other night, we recreated the picture in 2012.

I am nine months pregnant with my first born.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Pregnancy Update: 37 Weeks

How Big is Baby: winter melon, 19-21 inches, about 6-8 pounds
How Far Along: 37 weeks - FULL TERM!

Weight Gain: 33 pounds. 1 pound gained this week. I may actually stay under 35 pounds! How did I do it? I have no idea, man.

Sleeping: I am sleeping pretty well. I go to bed around 11 or 12 and sleep until morning with anywhere from two to six pee breaks throughout the night. I love naps, and I've been taking one every day now. I'm also great at sleeping in!

Food Cravings: wine! rare steak, Kraft mac-n-cheese

Food Aversions: fast food, nothing else really

Symptoms:
Swollen feet/ankles: But what else is new?

Braxton Hicks contractions: Getting ready for the big day!

Fatigue: naps and sleep are my favorite pastimes

Thirst: I drink water a lllllll day long

Doctor's Appointment: I saw my midwife on Monday. My 24 hour urine sample was perfect, my blood draws were great and my weight gain is right on track (if a little under). My blood pressure was high at 140/92, but she isn't too concerned since we're getting so close to the end - and since there's no other symptoms.

I have a visit on Friday, too, to see if my blood pressure has stayed the same, gone down or risen. She predicts I'll have my baby before my due date.

Movement: Baby has been moving less, probably because there's less room in there. He still loves some dub step music, especially PantyRaid's Get the Money. So weird! I can feel him very low, and I know he's ready to make an exit soon! He is still most active at 10:30 at night. I'm so curious to see if this continues outside the womb.

Gender: Boy. Two of my friends recently had babies and BOTH of them named them one of my top two names. I'm not sure if this is a coincidence or if this is a trend. Either way, I'm leaning toward the other name. But then again, I feel no need to name my son before he is born. I think when I see him, I'll know. And if I don't, then, well...we can worry about that then.

Best Moment of the Week: Our spontaneous trip to Tulsa. After spending three days on bed rest and getting skinny, skinny ankles, I was dying to leave the house. So we made the trip and did what we do best: shopped. We walked the mall, we bought a new computer (you know, so we can edit baby video and baby pictures), some things for the nursery, some things for me, some special candy from the candy store (can you get sugar-covered coke bottles anywhere else?), some Firehouse subs (I'm addicted!) and just wandered around at our own pace. Because we can. And we won't be able to anytime soon after the baby comes.

Side note: my feet blew up, so it really probably was our last trip to Tulsa until we've got a baby. Although, the Dark Knight comes out this weekend...and I'd love to see it in iMax. We'll see how the weekend goes.

What I'm Looking Forward to: seeing our baby. I want to see him and hold him and bring him home to his cute cute nursery!

What I've Got/Did for Baby: All his newborn (all four outfits) and 0-3 months clothes, his blankets, his burp cloths, his sheets, his changing pad cover, his stuffed animals, his socks have all been washed. In special fragrant-free detergent on delicate. And then folded and put away. It's so surreal to have his room ready to go!

We also finished up the registries and bought the remaining items: the bumbo seat, the pack-n-play, the diaper pail (please baby, don't poop too much), some organizers, some owl toys, an owl activity thing and a mobile (we're making our own....pictures to come - it was Bryan's idea!). I even kicked Bryan and his Diablo out of the nursery, and we set up a new computer game station (with the new computer) so baby won't have to listen to his dad killing demons.

What I Learned This Week: We are quickly running out of lazy weekends in bed and wandering around malls. This is getting real. Too real. It's happening too fast. I feel like just yesterday I was 30 weeks pregnant. These last 7 weeks have gone by too fast!



Monday, July 16, 2012

conversation at my house

"You play so much Diablo."
"Only when you watch trashy reality tv."
"maybe we should name our baby B____ Diablo Buckley."
"No!"
"Why? Cuz it's nerdy?"
"Because it means devil."

Friday, July 13, 2012

our baby is an internet meme

We had our ultrasound today. Saw how big our baby is (his head is huuuuge) and how cute he is.

And then the tech snapped a pic that looked just like an Internet meme.

So I present (ala Bryan's genius):
My Baby, the Internet meme


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Look at me!

Every week, Bryan takes a picture of me and my belly. Sometimes he won't stop even after I'm done posing.

Let me share this picture he took of me as I was walking up to grab the SD card.

Can I be vain for a second? I think I look cute. I barely look pregnant from the front! I love the curves.
It's hard to feel beautiful when you're this big and pregnant, but I like this. I also like that my owl slippers made it into the shot.

Pregnancy Update: 36 Weeks

How Big is Baby: honeydew, 18 inches, about 5 pounds
How Far Along: 36 weeks

Weight Gain: 32 pounds. No gain this week. I've been eating well, but shouldn't baby have gained something this week??

Sleeping: I slept pretty horribly while Bryan was gone, but since Monday night, I've slept soooooooo well. I sleep through the whole night, and I only wake up once to pee!

Food Cravings: sweets. cookies!

Food Aversions: fast food (even the sight of it on tv makes me gross)

Symptoms:
Swollen feet/ankles/calves - This is really concerning. I've had swollen feet since Sunday night. I hate it, and it's awful to walk. I am walking on balloons.

BH Contractions - Infrequent, but more often.

Pelvic Pain - Sometimes there is a shooting pain down there.

Doctor's Appointment: I had one today. My midwife is worried. She wanted to put me on bedrest, but with three people recently quitting, I just can't! I begged and begged, and she has now mandated half days starting on Monday.

She was really worried about my swelling. Even though I have no other symptoms of pre-eclampsia (my blood pressure is fine, there's no protein in my urine, my bloodwork is great, and my weight gain has been steady/not there), she says it could happen at any time. So we're looking out for me. I'm doing another 24 hour urine sample, another ultrasound (check on the baby) and more frequent appointments.

I also got the prediction that she thinks I won't make it to my due date. I'm scared (and emotional about this), but Bryan is excited. He wants this baby now. I'm not ready, and I'm feeling so overwhelmed that I'm just scared. I don't know if I can handle being a mom!

Movement: Baby moves a lot, and he loves to move at times when I feel lonely. It's sweet to have a baby with me all the time. I will miss this part of pregnancy, the rolls and the quiet kicks. One thing that's super cute is that the baby will move to the side that Bryan's on. I love this! I think he's the favorite already. How can I compete?

Gender: Boy. Damn, we need to choose a name. I am tired of people suggesting names. This week, I got "Bryan Jr." or "Junior" or "Bryant" or "Bryson." Okay, we know the names we're thinking of, and those aren't them. You know it.

Best Moment of the WeekI: Picking up Bryan from the airport and having him home. There's nothing more comforting than having someone to snuggle or waking up to someone. I love that.

What I'm Looking Forward to: Nothing right now. I'm scared of the tests, of the results, of everything. I'm just not there.

What I've Got for Baby: Bryan's mom bought a bunch of cute onesies for the baby while Bryan was home with her. I wish I could've been there for the shopping, but I'm glad Bryan and his mom got to have some sweet memories picking out cute clothes for the baby. I know that baby will know how much he is loved.

What I've Learned this Week: Swelling isn't good. Even if you are eating well, drinking LOTS of water, resting with your feet up and have good blood pressure, your body could still kick out a baby. Thankfully, I'm 9 months pregnant now. I've got a full-term baby. He could use some more time, obviously, and I'm hoping he stays in as long as possible, but I am thankful that we will have a healthy baby.

Geez. I'm overwhelmed.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

ouchie mommy

I'm so uncomfortable. It's not my growing belly.

It's my feet. I'm simultaneously embarrassed and proud. They're disgustingly swollen. But they're incredibly swollen. Who could believe this?

I have yo blog this in case I get any ideas that I had a symptom-free pregnancy.

My feet got it bad this pregnancy. I'm gonna check my blood pressure after work. It's scary. And at my appointment on Thursday, I'll tell the doctor and show these pictures.

Yuck.

And slightly amazing. How are they so swollen??

Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday Brain Dump

Geez, I am so beat. My assistant is on vacation (her last two days off before my maternity leave), and I'm overwhelmed.

I'm working on my job, training new interns, training on the other staff member's job and meeting with newly accepted students. I have hardly had any time to decompress. It's been run run run all day.

I'm so swollen, even my fingers. And I'm having contractions. They're braxton hicks because they don't last more than a minute and aren't painful, but man, it's a little scary how many I've had today.

Bryan comes home from South Carolina today. I cannot wait. Not only could I use a little help with cooking dinners, but I need some loving. Some hugs, some cuddling, some petting. I miss him so much, and he's only been gone five days. It's probably the hormones, but I need him home.

My job has become wildly complicated and dramatic with the recent hire's quit. I'm forced to take on more job duties with the prospect of a big promotion after my maternity leave. I'm not sure how likely the promotion is as my current university has a lot of red tape for things like this, but it will be good to be the senior staff member and have the authority even if I don't have the appropriate title. more to come on this.

I'm stressed. I'm tired. And I'm emotional. It's really feeling like I need to have this baby and get my maternity leave started. I'm ready, baby. Let's do this. LESS THAN A MONTH! AH!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Perspective

This morning, I noticed my hair was growing quickly and it took me a little longer to blow dry. This morning, Bryan's mom was deciding if the hair loss was significant enough to start wearing her wig again. This morning, I'm at the doctors with my (unborn) son to check up on my health. My appointment will take at most an hour. This morning, mom is at the hospital with her grown son for treatment. They will be there all day. Life can be so contrary, and my current situation is both sweet and heartbreaking. I was really hoping for a boy in this pregnancy, for a chance for mom to see her son have a son, to relive all the memories of raising Bryan, for me to try to raise a son like she did. I can only hope that I am as good a mother to my son as she is to Bryan.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Pregnancy Update: 35 Weeks


How Big is Baby: coconut, 17-19 inches, 4-6lbs
How Far Along: 35 Weeks

Weight Gain: 32 pounds. Three pounds this week. Perhaps it was all the ice cream,  but maybe it's all baby. We'll see what the midwife thinks...at this point, I'm over caring. I'm big and I'm pregnant. Shove it.

Sleeping: Besides last night (where I got only 4 hours of sleep and no middle of the night bathroom trips), I've been sleeping well. I'm hot, and I can barely stand the sheet. We have the A/C set to 72, the overhead fan on and a little box fan next to my side of the bed. I wake up anywhere from two to six times a night to pee. It's getting old.

Food Cravings: I've been craving ice cream. All. The. Time.

Food Aversions: nothing really

Symptoms:
Swollen feet - I can't escape this. I rest them, I drink water and I try to make them go away.

BH Contractions - I get them, and actually, as I'm typing, I'm having one right now. It's the perfect excuse to practice my breathing techniques and meditation.

Fatigue - I am sooooooooooooo tired. If I get lots of sleep, I'm still sleepy. I need naps, and lots of 'em.

Doctor's Appointment: I've got one tomorrow morning. My weekly appointments begin. I also begin to have internal checks.

Movement: Baby is rolling around like a cute baby. He loves the night time. I can't wait to see him move outside of me.

Gender: Boy.

Best Moment of the Week: Probably last night. We bailed on a party early so we could go home and watch Alien and stay up late talking about politics, religion, ethics and philosophy until the early morning hours. I love that we can still talk  (or not talk) for hours.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa day tomorrow. I'm spending the whole day at the spa with a massage and an hour long pedicure (what will they do to my feet for an hour??). I'm also going to lunch at PF Changs and then wandering home to relax all weekend long.

What I've Got for Baby: Nothing really. I plan to wash some of his clothes and his sheets. Can you believe it's that time?

What I've Learned this Week: What could be a challenge can turn into opportunity.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Whyyyyyy

The new hire quit last night via email. Which means we have to find a new one immediately. From Monday, we have only three weeks to train her before the trainer leaves. And from Monday, I'm four weeks from my due date. CRAP.

Things are wildly crazy busy. So I'm not getting to take Thursday off like I originally planned. BOO.

Bryan's home safely from San Fran. And tomorrow we're going to a BBQ. Should be fun.

If I eat cookies for dinner, would anyone blame me? Can I blame it on the pregnancy?

Monday, July 2, 2012

Monday Brain Dump

Geez. I have had a DAY.




I didn't sleep well last night since Bryan was out of town. I never realized how comforting him sleeping next to me was until he was gone. Normally, it's me that's travelling, not me that's home alone in my creaky house trying to convince myself that leaving a hall light on will keep the murderers away.

Needless to say, I woke up every hour. And was exhausted for work.

Which wasn't wonderful since my boss returned to the office after a two week trip abroad. And had loads and loads of projects to assign me, many projects for me to present and lots of answers for issues that came up in his absence. It's been go go go all day.

I am halfway through three giant projects that need to be completed before end of day tomorrow. I worked my ass off today to finish two big deals, and I've made enough headway on the other three projects that I think I can do it.

And I've asked off on Thursday, so I have a five day weekend. If that doesn't make me hustle, I don't know what will.

This weekend was lovely: full of naps, sleeping in and doing nothing with Bryan. One day, we slept 16 out of 24 hours. It was glorious.

Yesterday, I dropped him off at the airport for his snazzy conference where he's presenting a paper about teaching economics effectively (and a few of the ways he does it innovatively). I spent the day wandering around Target (love that place) and Babies R Us.

Tonight is the Bachelorette. I hope Jef's family is as cute as he is! Commericals show that Sean still lives with his parents, and Chris (how the heck is he STILL here???) has a nuts family. He better go home.

Lord, let me get to 5:30 tomorrow, so I can enjoy my five day weekend. It's sooooooooo close!