The journey home

I found a nonstop flight to the small airport near Bryan's family. It was only 1 hour 40 minutes and it couldn't have been simpler.

Well....then they had a three hour delay, turning 1.5 hours in the airport into 4.5. 

We had a few great things:

-running through terminals "so fast!"

-coloring Olaf again and again 

-eating an entire hot dog and bun!

-drinking milk 

-snacking on grapes instead of m&ms!!

-dancing for all the other passengers lined up to board

And we had some disastrous things:

-FIVE FREAKING DIRTY DIAPERS (I had only 3 in my purse, but thankfully I shoved another 5 in Bryan's backpack "just in case")

-while I'm pouring Bradley's milk into his cup, he spills my whole orange soda on the floor and while I'm cleaning that up, starts eating the ice from the floor. I get it out of his mouth and keep a leaning and he gets another one in his mouth. By this point, I'm getting so many looks and strangers are telling Bradley, "yuck!" To try to help.

-while changing dirty diaper number 4, Bradley spills his entire FULL cup of milk all over himself, his mouth, his nose, his hair, his ear, the changing table and starts choking and has milk coming out of his nose. Scared him. And of course, I didn't pack a change of shirt so I patted it dry with paper towels.

Thankfully, he slept the entire flight there, passed out in the middle seat with his legs in my lap.

Now we made it. And now Bryan and Bradley are still sleeping. I'm tempted to go downstairs and be with the family, but for now, I will stay by my husbands side for when he wakes.

Rough day.

This morning, Bryan's mom passed. It has been an awful day. We are so sad. We have lost an incredible woman and mother and grandmother. We fly tomorrow to be with family for the ceremony.

All I can do is be grateful for my little family of three, the health of my mander family and those remaining in the buckleys.

Heavy hearts and lots of tears.

The tragic and the routine

Life has been pretty tragic lately. Bryan's mother who has been battling cancer for five years was placed in hospice care this week. We visited last weekend and stayed a week. We helped make the decision with Bryan's father. It was the single most difficult and best decision we've made for his mom. She is at the end of her life, and while this is not the mother in law I want to remember, this will forever scar my heart.

It has been very difficult for Bryan. Our distance from family is usually not a big issue, but in times of family distress, it would be good to be closer. We have made the trip down and back (12 hours each way) five times with a toddler. It is an awful road trip that pales in comparison to the agony of watching a mother fall further into her disease. She's scared, she's ready, she's upset, she's confused. It truly is awful.

And because Bryan's class begins Monday, we are back to our routine. So separate from the hospice routine. I wake before both Bryan and Bradley, laying in bed reading blogs and social media. I wake Bradley and we play before bouncing into wake Bryan. We all eat breakfast and then get on with our day. Bryan goes to work and we go to play and run errands. We all come together for dinner and bedtime and then it's silence and holding hands and trying to watch comedy on tv.

This is the tragedy of our year right now. I can't imagine anything worse.