Apologies if I frightened anyone. I received a few facebook messages about my last post, and I appreciate it, ladies. I'm not sure what I should say or what I'm supposed to say or what I want to say.
Life has not always been so unpredictable for me. Then all of a sudden it was.
All of a sudden, the plans we've laid have been ripped apart. The way I thought things were going to happen, aren't.
Fuck.
So what is happening? Life. Fucking life. It's unfair, it's unreasonable, it's uncontrollable, it's inevitable.
Why? How? I don't know. Even if I did, it wouldn't change anything.
So what now? What the fuck am I supposed to do? Do I change my plans? Do I abandon all plans? Do I rearrange the order of my plans? What plans matter? I just don't have the answers. I'm asking myself these questions over and over again. What's important? Why? Is it more important than this? Or that? Why? Is that right? Is it selfish? Is it wrong? Is it sad? Is that even a real reason? I just don't know.
I don't fucking know, okay? Is that okay? To know nothing? To have no response, no answers, no ideas on how to proceed? I don't know.
What I do know is that I have Bryan. I love him dearly. We have each other, and without words, without actions, through tears and hugs, we have each other.
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