Onion Date Night

NEWS IN BRIEF

Easy Wife Gives It Up On First Date Night

SEPTEMBER 20, 2010 | ISSUE 46•38

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OMAHA, NE—Local man James Carlson totally got some Friday night when his wife, Shelly, "went all the way" after just one date night, the lucky husband reported. "I figured it'd be at least three date nights before she gave it up, but all it took was a modest dinner and a few glasses of wine, and she went straight home with me, no questions asked," Carlson said of his wife of eight years, with whom he has three children, James Jr., 7, Wendy, 5, and Sandy, 3. "After we paid the babysitter and brushed our teeth, she couldn't keep her hands off me." Carlson hopes to continue date-nighting his wife for the foreseeable future, seeing as she is such an easy lay.

From TheOnion.com

Happy Birthday, Bryan!

Happy happy birthday!

It's my favorite person's birthday today.

Here's a quick list of things I love about Bryan:
He can make the funniest faces.
He's so genius he's teaming up with a psychology professor to write a paper that may prove behavioral economics is wrong.
He can eat almost anything, but when he really likes something, he'll rate it on a 1-10 scale and write it on my menu board.
He loves to geek out about Starcraft to me, even though I know very little about the game.
He only DVRs comedy shows or cartoons.
He can coach improv like it's his job.
He sleeps in, and he will never turn down a nap invitation.
He can grate cheese on his abs.
He is the best dressed man in Oklahoma.
He finds cool music and burns it to my computer.
He is incredibly supportive of me.
He wants to travel as much (if not more) than me.

I could go on and on, but you'll be bored. I'm lucky to be with Bryan, and I know had a few choices been different, we wouldn't be together. Thankfully, things happened as they did, and I landed in a life with a man better than I could have imagined. It's time to celebrate the awesome Bryan Buckley.

For the third year in a row, we're in a new place and our friend circle is small, so this birthday will be celebrated with the two of us. I'm baking his favorite (easy) breakfast chocolate chip muffins and taking him out to a (surprise) dinner. Afterwards, I'm baking his request Snicker's cupcakes for dessert. Hopefully, his present arrives from Amazon in time!!

The Alphabet According to Google

A is for Amazon, to get all your books.
B is for Bank of America, which holds all your crooks.
C is for Craigslist, no services adult.
D is for Dictionary, to define your result.
E is for eBay, to spend all your cash.
F is for Facebook, web pages like trash.
G is for Gmail, world domination ambition.
H is for Hotmail, Gmail's competition.
I is for Ikea, for a lamp named Bljampäjese.
J is for Johns Hopkins, where they cure your disease.
K is for Kohl's, a store that's old-school.
L is for Lowe's, to buy your tool.
M is for MapQuest, for the place you go to.
N is for Netflix, to add to your queue.
O is for Orioles, a Baltimore obsession.
P is for Pandora, an audio digression.
Q is for QVC, for goods without esteem.
R is for Ravens, another Baltimore team.
S is for Sears, appliances and more.
T is for Target, a Wal-Mart like store.
U is for USPS, where mail you submit.
V is for Verizon, Steve Jobs should use it.
W is for Weather, for forests in flames.
X is for Xbox, a console for games.
Y is for Yahoo, a home page for Chrome.
Z is for Zillow, to value your home.

In a Boing Boing comment thread around the launch of Google's new "Google Instant" search feature, BB reader Robert compiled a little alphabet ditty based on what typing in each letter of the alphabet yields in the way of suggestions.

No babies for me yet.

I am in a happy two person family at the moment, and I'm more than pleased to keep it that way for awhile.

But, when I see something as sweet as this, I can't help but melt.

Shirley Sirivong’s pregnancy has been a challenging one. She has gestational diabetes, complete placentia previa, and an incompetent cervix. To help her get through the rest of her pregnancy, doctors directed her to bed rest and a special diet. To start, the breakfasts were a tad dull: wheat bread, egg whites, fruits, and vegetables. So her husband Gat created fanciful food scenes to lift his wife’s mood. “After a few days of that,” Shirley told Parenting.com, “they started to become more elaborate scenes.” Of this one, she said, “I’m going to guess that I’m the egg on the right, since the legs are crossed Some day, I’m going to miss these little moments.”

Story (and lots more snapshots of breakfast art) from Parenting.com as blogged by TheFrisky.com

Sunday Thoughts

Whether you attend church or do not attend church, here's today's readings.

I believe them all, and I am confident in the words of the great Albert Einstein. He is, of course, synonymous with truth and brilliance. I want to align myself with both truth and brilliance.

Thoughts on a Saturday Night in Oklahoma

Emma Stone was great in Easy A, but the whole time I thought she was Lindsay Lohan. It's totally similar to Cady Heron in Mean Girls.

We ran to WalMart tonight to pick up some fake snakes and string. $5 for the win!

Our town is so small (how small is it?) that we were in line behind the Dean of the Library and her boyfriend and on our way out, we saw one of Bryan's students with her boyfriend...they are obviously in love.

It's a good thing we keep pasta and sauce on hand because we are in no mood to be out amongst the townies and too lazy to cook anything more difficult than spaghetti.

Lastly, vimeo is being rude. We uploaded a one minute clip from our Oklahoma City show, and it's still not available for viewing despite having five hours to process. C'mon, vimeo!

I made it!

This weekend, Bryan and I did what we do best: team up and improvise.

Friday we performed to a full house. We gave our new small town of Tahlequah, Oklahoma their first taste of improv - and for many, their first live comedy show. Imagine the buzz of that kind of audience. Do you remember your first comedy show? My first improv show was at SAK Comedy Lab in Orlando, and I remember being amazed that they were making everything up and amazed at how funny these people were, right in front of me.

Friday's show was one of my favorite shows of all time. The audience was into it, my friends from work came and lots of people were taking pictures throughout the show. Afterwards, they even asked for Bryan and my autographs! It was surreal. Everyone came out to the local bar to hang out with us, ask questions and learn about auditions.

I've never been a part of creating an improv team, and I can understand now how Bryan must have felt nine years ago when he created Mock Turtle Soup. When I got into MTS, it was fully formed and already rolling. When I moved to DSI, it was established and had a great group. When I moved to Philly, the N Crowd was celebrating its 5 year anniversary. This is my first taste of a new improv scene, and I am loving it. Today, we have an interest meeting and Tuesday we have auditions. I am so hopeful for this new team and the scene in this small town.

These people don't go out very often, mostly because there's not much going on in town. I want live comedy to be the thing of this town, the thing that keeps people out late and the thing people can get excited about. More to come after auditions.

Pretty Owl

Yeah.

It's not a holiday without pie.

Good apple pies are a considerable part of our domestic happiness.
Jane Austen

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.
Jonathan Swift

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
Edgar Watson Howe

Anytime I've invited somewhere, I like to make a pie.
-There's nothing more American than pie.
-If you don't like chocolate, you probably like pie.
-If you're on a diet, pie has fruit in it.
-It's hot, and you can put ice cream or whipped cream or not on it.
-It's delicious.

And if your family doesn't have a secret recipe (and you didn't marry into a family of secret dessert recipes like me), the internet has some great ones. This recipe from the Food Network online is closest to the Campbell family recipe.

Happy Labor Day, everyone! Eat some pie!!

Look Good.

When you live in a small town, you're bound to run into people you know.
This is different than living in Philadelphia where I hardly knew anyone, even when I did have many friends. In my small town, I'm constantly running into people I know - and I don't even know that many people! I'll find a student at WalMart, a coworker at a bar, Bryan's colleagues at a festival, my HR rep at the grocery store, my boss at a restaurant, the bartender at the campus ChickfilA.

Needless to say, I always have a cute outfit and a smile when I'm out.