Sleeping in his crib since Day 1No Pacifiers
We lost this battle. In the hospital, I didn't want him to have a pacifier because I was worried he would have trouble breastfeeding. So for the first week, he didn't have any pacifiers. But I was gone one day for my checkup, and my mom couldn't calm him, so she gave him a pacifier. It works.
We try to use it as a last resort - or if we're in public at a restaurant or something. It works for when Bryan or the nanny need to calm Bradley before I'm able to get home and feed him.
Bryan was the one who thought we should do cloth diapering. I didn't realize there was a whole culture and "type" of parenting behind cloth diapering. He wanted to do it, and now that we're in so far, I can't remember his original reasoning. I like it because I think it's super cute on his bum. It's also great that we don't have to run out to the store if we're low on diapers. And given the choice, I'd want my butt in some soft microfleece rather than plasticy cotton.
We use disposables when we're out for the day in Tulsa, and we use them at night. We have a "fancy" baby who won't stay in a wet diaper for more than a minute or two. Imagine our shock when we switched to disposables at night and he slept way longer.
The laundry isn't that bad. We have 20 newborn and 20 all in ones that he should be able to wear until he's 2. I love the colors, and I love knowing he's in the most comfortable diaper out there.
Holding As Much As Possible/Desired
I put him down when I needed to do something, and I handed him off to family or Bryan when I felt like I could, but I just wanted to hold him. I'd never gotten to hold a baby so small before, and as the mother, I could hold him as long as I wanted: he was mine! So I did. And I have no regrets. None. I would hold him all day long again for six weeks straight if I could.
And now, at 11 weeks, he's great. He loves to be held, but there are times when he's fussing because he wants to sit in his bouncer and watch us from afar. He's gaining independence AND I got to hold him as much as I wanted.
My biggest advice to new moms would be to hold your baby all the time. Isn't there going to be a day when they won't want to cuddle? Or when they will be too big? Or when you'll have to work all day? I got my fill of baby cuddles, and I loved it.
After nine months of no alcohol (Ben and Adrienne's wedding was my last hoorah), I wanted my red wine. And boy was that first sip delicious. I enjoy and appreciate wine even more. I've lost my taste for beer, and I haven't touched liquor, but my wine...oh, I love my red wine.
I think a half glass of wine is nothing to be ashamed of. And I would also enjoy the half glass right after he nursed, so I had at least an hour and upwards of three before he would need to nurse again. I go by the: Sober enough to drive, sober enough to nurse.
Now that Bradley sleeps 5-6 hours at night, I can enjoy a full glass (or two!) with Bryan at night. And I would never do that unless I was sure Bradley wouldn't need me...or I had a stash.
Mostly because they are UGLY. U-G-L-Y. I hate them. I also think they make boys look like girls. My mother bought me two, and I told her that I wanted to return them. She said, No, you'll love them in the middle of the night for diaper changes. Well, I tried it, and I hated it. So I was right!
He looked like a girl and it was much harder than a onesie. My baby sleeps in a onesie with snaps, swaddled in a blanket. Nowadays, we have a mod swad - but that's different.
9:00-10:00 Bedtime
Well, this turned out to be a pretty poor decision. It worked (I guess) for the first five weeks, but then he'd start crying at 8. So we put him to bed at 8. Then he started crying at 7, so we put him to bed at 7, and I think 7 works best now.
We were crazy thinking our baby could stay up so late. There are occasions when we keep him out late (comedy shows), and he stays up late, but it is certainly not a good idea for his regular bedtime.
Nanny/Working Mom/Stay at Home Dad
While nannies have been around forever, many people think we're crazy. I think you're crazy if you think I'm going to trust my tiny newborn to daycare in my wretched little town. The daycares are in warehouses or dirty houses. No, I knew I wanted someone to watch my baby and only my baby since before I was pregnant. And it's the best decision for us - Bradley can stay in his own environment, be around someone that's not his parents (BIG controversy - parents should be the only ones parenting says my father in law) and I can return to work.
I've already written about the difficulty with being a working mom, and that's controversial enough. Bryan has arranged his schedule to be home MWF, and it's great because during my maternity leave, I barely let him hold Bradley. So now he gets uninterrupted time with him. They have a great time, and they do things that I don't do with him - and things the nanny doesn't do with him. And I think that's awesome. My son is getting to learn that people are different and that when you hang out with one person, it will be totally different than hangingout with someone else. With Bryan, they sing songs (They Might Be Giants or Cake), do lots of time on the activity gym, naked time, baths and watch cartoons. With the nanny, they do cuddling, reading her literature (she's an English major and they read the Raven yesterday) and she speaks softly. With me, we cuddle, I talk (loudly) and try to get him to talk, dress him up in outfits, walk around the house and show him pictures and take pictures. I think it's great for his development, and it's something some family have a hard time believing is the right choice.
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