Tips for the Love Boat

I'm subscribed to GoogleReader and one of my favorite feeds is Marriage Tips. Now, my single friends don't run - and my married friends, don't be scared. They are really just provacative assertions to make you think about your relationship. These tips advocate love and respect and patience - all of which are good for any loving relationship, especially marriage.

One I've been thinking about is:
Michelle Weiner-Davis coined the phrase "Stranger Standard" to remind us that sometimes married couples treat strangers with more courtesy and sensitivity than their spouse. Don't take each other for granted.

Often, we encounter strangers (or colleagues) more than our spouse since the work day can be longer than our leisure time at home. I'm not talking about work spouses - I'm talking about friendly relationships in the office, at restaurants and other places you interact with acquaintances. We're always respectful to those we work with, making lunch dates around their schedules, listening to their drama from their kids, offering advice on the new project, helping a friend move. Why can't we reciprocate kindness like this with our spouses?

It's easy. And it's all about choice. I'm a firm believer in being a good wife AND a good girlfriend. I'm dependable, in it for life and all about sharing everything with Bryan as his wife. But as a good girlfriend, I'm there to talk about the little things, arrange dates and surprise him with sweet things. (Note: a good wife can do the aforementioned gf things but most women quit when they get married.)

Marriage has become, through the eyes of many, a horrible bore, a routine chore, with love no more (I couldn't resist). We fell in love with this person. We had stomach butterflies. We spent days thinking of how we might be able to make them even happier. We listened to all their silly stories - and eagerly awaited the next. We drove hours to visit. We have never felt the same fire when you kissed anyone else. We would do anything for this person. And we vowed that we would. I don't get it when we think loving is a chore. Or that marriage is all about having-to.

Marriage is a continuation of the love we found earlier. Marriage is different, but marriage should be better. And for me, marriage has been the best form I've love I've found. I love my husband, and I'll never take him for granted. It's little things: "Thank you for doing all the dishes - work was hard today" or "I'm really glad you could meet me for lunch. I love hanging out with you!" or just a simple "I'm the luckiest person because you picked me." That's the love. You have to have that love before you get married or you wouldn't get married. Remember that love. It's a sweet love, and it's a good love. And, let's be honest, it's your last love - so make it beautiful.

Photo by Erin Scott Photography

Snacking Ettiquette

NOTE: You might have read earlier about my recent commitment to a healthy food and fitness routine, and I'm currently no longer on a strict diet or exercise plan. I'm eating what I like, but considering the costs of each thing I eat (i.e. a lot of grapes versus one piece of chocolate).

Every sandwich deserves something crunchy on the side. It's pretty much a rule.

Tonight, we picked up a sub from Wegman's and ate it at home, saving money by pouring our own drinks and eating from the large bag of chips we have in the pantry. I pulled out about ten chips to go with my sub sandwich.

As I ate, I balanced the ratio of sandwich to chip. And when I finished my sandwich, I had three leftover chips on my plate. And what a moment I found myself in. What should I do? What do you do? What are you supposed to do?

1. Eat the three chips even though you aren't that hungry
2. Toss them in the trash with your napkin and onions that fell out of the sandwich
3. Put them back into the bag of chips

I was almost embarrassed that I did the last of the options. I found myself not hungry and aware that those three chips had about 50-75 calories. I found myself thinking that I shouldn't eat them - especially because I wanted to split some Twizzlers with Bryan. I found myself thinking I'll just throw them away. And then I worried that at some point in the future, I would go to get chips for my sandwich and wish that there were just a few more. So I put them back.

I can't decide if this makes me thoughtful or just plain crazy.

Stand by Me?

Reading my blogs this morning, I read this from The Frisky:

A study in the medical journal Cancer found that a man is seven times more likely to leave his partner if she is seriously ill than if the tables are turned. This might be due to women’s conditioning to be caretakers of their loved ones. Times of London — Insert tasteless John Edwards joke here.

Pretty disappointing to hear.

I love Google.

This is the new theme of my email. I love it. The Google Labs released four new themes and they talk about them here in the Gmail blog. Another reason I'm still in love.

What the Tech?!

This video is awesome. It clearly and awesomely shows how information and technology has progressed. Some awesome facts: The US Department of Labor estimates that today's learner will have 10-14 jobs by the age of 38. AND There are 31 billion searches a month on Google. In 2006, that number was 2.7 billion.



It was created by my friend, designer and hilarious improviser Jeff Brenman. Who is just as awesome as this video.

Lady Movies

This new movie Amelia about pilot Amelia Earhart that will be released October is advertised as a woman-feel-good movie. Some people are already motivated by this movie. I am excited because I love movies about women: Amelie, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, V for Vendetta, All About Eve, Little Women and Erin Brockovich. I'm hoping this one is as good as people say that it will be, and that I can add Amelia to my list of great lady movies.

Amelia said (I hope it's in the movie):
Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.

We're all individuals. Just because a man can't do something, doesn't mean a woman can't. If a woman fails, everyone (men and women) should keep trying until we find success. We're a community of individuals, of men and women, and we're all capable of incredible feats. So do it.

Wedded Bliss

There is nothing more admirable than two people seeing eye-to-eye keeping house as man and wife, confounding their enemies, and delighting their friends.

Homer, 9th century BC

I couldn't have said it better myself. I love the classics.