Ladies, it's him. I have heard so many stories in the news with Tiger & Elin and in my personal life from friends, but so many ladies blame themselves (or outsiders throw the blame on the women) when men do something wrong. I'm talking about infidelity.
There are exceptions, of course, but most of the time when a man in unfaithful, it's his fault, not yours, ladies. We all make daily choices: to flirt it up with the person serving you coffee - or not; to discuss relationship problems with your coworker - or not; to seek out cybersex or online erotic chatting - or not; to sleep with waitress despite your wife and two children - or not. These are choices, and in those choices, those men had to choose between their girlfriend or wife and this new, different woman.
Stop feeling guilty. If we can all learn something from Tiger Woods' situation, it's that no matter how hot you are, no matter if you are married, no matter if you have children, if a man wants to test out another flavor, he will. And we, as ladies, cannot stop him by hitting the gym more, talking dirty, wearing sexy getups and bad mouthing other women (or men). Please stop blaming yourself. He did it. He meant to do it - regardless if he regrets it now. Once you believe that, I think recovery by either repairing the trust or by cutting the cheater loose will be much easier.
Amen! I feel like this is a really empowering post. It's reminiscent of "He's Just Not That Into You." We all make choices and, I believe, ultimately do what we really want to do. No one "drives" anyone else to cheat.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I hate people who judge these women and say, well if you were a better girlfriend/wife, he wouldn't do that. It's more like, if he wasn't such a jackass, he wouldn't do that. Humph!
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