Banana: the Asshole Fruit

When you eat a banana, you know that taste. I love single bananas. I buy at least six bananas a week, and I try to eat one everyday. I love them. They are the perfect snack, well, almost perfect. What's so dick about a banana is how it can't share.

When you get a strawberry banana smoothie, all you taste is banana. When you make banana nut bread, all you taste is banana. And when you leave two delicious, homemade chocolate chip cookies that a friend made you because she is a good friend and you leave them in your purse because you are too full from lunch (and you know if you eat one, you'll eat the other one, too, if you don't save it to share with your husband) and then you wait until after dinner, until after you get home from the night and pull your two long, awaited cookies to enjoy in all their chocolate chipy glory, you taste goddamn banana! Why? Because some asshole banana was hanging out in your purse, slowly stealing the flavor from every piece of gum, candy or chocolate chip cookie that you have stowed away in your lady bag.

Bananas, you are the asshole fruit.