The tragic and the routine

Life has been pretty tragic lately. Bryan's mother who has been battling cancer for five years was placed in hospice care this week. We visited last weekend and stayed a week. We helped make the decision with Bryan's father. It was the single most difficult and best decision we've made for his mom. She is at the end of her life, and while this is not the mother in law I want to remember, this will forever scar my heart.

It has been very difficult for Bryan. Our distance from family is usually not a big issue, but in times of family distress, it would be good to be closer. We have made the trip down and back (12 hours each way) five times with a toddler. It is an awful road trip that pales in comparison to the agony of watching a mother fall further into her disease. She's scared, she's ready, she's upset, she's confused. It truly is awful.

And because Bryan's class begins Monday, we are back to our routine. So separate from the hospice routine. I wake before both Bryan and Bradley, laying in bed reading blogs and social media. I wake Bradley and we play before bouncing into wake Bryan. We all eat breakfast and then get on with our day. Bryan goes to work and we go to play and run errands. We all come together for dinner and bedtime and then it's silence and holding hands and trying to watch comedy on tv.

This is the tragedy of our year right now. I can't imagine anything worse.